Day 1 - Fic: (untitled)
Feb. 2nd, 2019 03:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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babylon5_loveHI! I had some other much better ideas but this is the only one that wound up being completed, and it's still (for two more hours I think!) Feb 1 in EST so!
Title: (untitled)
Characters: Sinclair, Neroon, Rathenn, Jenimer, Catherine Sakai & Delenn make minor appearances.
Wordcount: ~6k
Rating: G
Summary: A collection of Sinclair & Neroon moments that weren't Legacies.
Notes: Spoilers for and the occasional dialogue line from the first four Babylon 5 comics and the novel 'To Dream in the City of Sorrows' (by Kathryn M Drennan) - and everything about Sinclair's character arc past Season 1.
Sinclair arrives on Minbar in 2259, after having been briefed at Earth Central by the new President, Clark himself. It's wild, to take in everything. The Minbari stopped because they think we have their souls. Of all the excuses. Sinclair isn't the most religious guy, though he's not the least religious guy either, but it's a long shot of a tale. Besides, it places all the power in - who else - the hands of the Minbari. It's their religion that made them stop, not any of Earth's.
Sinclair's way to Minbar isn't as smooth a ride as it could be. Racine - Satai for the Worker Caste - accompanies him for the most part on the Grey Council cruiser. Worker Caste is fine, thinks Sinclair. Actually, Worker Caste is even better. After all, now that he can remember those twenty-four hours, he remembers it was the Religious and the Warrior Castes who drugged him, beat him, and tortured him - until they realised he was Minbari enough not to dispose of. Neroon's scowl. Rathenn's leer. Delenn's supercilious smile.
What happened, old friend, wonders Sinclair. And he realises that maybe she was only ever a friend because she wanted to keep tabs on him.
No, that can't be. Delenn's learnt something in her time on Babylon 5, surely. The Minbari - can't be so bad. They can learn. Even their military caste. Didn't Neroon apologise for his actions involving his superior officer Branmer's death?
That's why he thinks he sees her on the cruiser, after a flyer docks en route to Minbar, for the ceremony to install a new Chosen One (the first of their kind since Dukhat). Why wouldn't Delenn be at the ceremony? Garibaldi said she'd be there. She's different, he'd added. But Sinclair couldn't get very far to ask before the Warrior Caste guard barred his way.
She comes to him later, in Yedor before the Chosen One's parade. She is different.
"I am now only half-Minbari," she explains. "I am also half-Human." Her hair is glossy dark brown and sleek and it falls in waves around and about her crest. Sinclair looks to the Warrior Caste guards who have accompanied her, but they stand stock still at the door, one male and one female. If either of them disapprove to Delenn's words, they don't react. Sinclair blinks, disbelieving, but Delenn remains as she is. He raises a hand almost to touch it, to convince himself it's really there, it's not glued on, but a warning look from Delenn has him frozen.
"Why would you do this?" he asks instead.
"It is foretold," she says. He has more questions but Delenn puts up a slender hand and he stops. "I can explain no further. It is good to see you again, but I must attend the ceremony. Will you be joining us?"
Sinclair shakes his head. "I'll watch it from up here," he says, referring to his high vantage point above the central plaza. "Where I won't be a distraction-"
A Warrior Caste member interrupts them, bursting into the room. "Kozorr?" asks Delenn.
Kozorr is angry and scowling, but not enough to forget his manners, and he bows deeply. "Excuse the intrusion, Satai. But I would prefer it if you would remain for a moment to act as witness..."
--
A map of the parade procession. A plasma-rifle. Hidden in a false top on Sinclair's luggage. A message from Babylon 5 sent to Minbar advising them an assassin was on the planet. I know I packed those bags myself, he thinks, I know I don't have a false top on my damn luggage. This all smacks of a set-up. Of course, things can't be simple on Minbar. But nobody will believe Sinclair except Delenn, and though she is Satai, and Sinclair realises that means something to these people, she's only one of nine. Rathenn has begun keeping his distance. So has Racine.
Sinclair's not lying, and Minbari don't lie. But according to their - whatever process they've got with their triluminary, he's not Minbari enough to rely on that alone. And so they go to court, where he meets a familiar face. Scowling again.
"Ambassador Sinclair," announces Neroon, in the judicial council chamber. "You stand accused of plotting to assassinate the Chosen One, our Leader. How do you plead?"
Evidently all love is lost, if there ever was any to begin with. He'd seemed so sincere in his apology, thinks Sinclair. What happened? Where is that man now? He can't have been acting. Isn't all acting lying, in the end?
"Answer the court!" thunders Neroon.
--
In the end his time is bought by Delenn's interference (though Neroon tries his best to bar her from the tribunal entirely, citing conflict of interest - and Sinclair hates to admit it, he's probably correct, but if that were the case then Neroon himself shouldn't be anywhere near the tribunal because they have history too, and yet here he is). Further information from Babylon 5 that shows Miss Winters uncovered an assassination plot, but it's Human-led, and that's not good enough for the Minbari, certainly not the Warrior Caste. Sinclair humbly suggests sacrificing his own life in exchange for a second Earth-Minbari war - maybe an openly honourable move will help convince Neroon out of banging the war drums? And the judges grant the request before a single Minbari man, about as old as Racine, strides into the judicial chamber, resplendent in white, with a gold belt.
This, Sinclair finds out later, is Jenimer.
Jenimer withdraws all charges against Sinclair and pardons him in full, as is his right both as Chosen One and as the target of assassination, and that's that. Neroon has to accept it, which he does, though he curls his lip in a hateful grimace.
"If I were in charge of this investigation," growls Neroon, "it would have gone differently. Your people organised this."
"And you won't forget it anytime soon," supposes Sinclair.
"I have not forgotten it since the end of your war!" Neroon shouts. "Your kind have shown time and again that you lack honour. We should not even deal with you at all, though our Religious Caste bids it so." He waves a dismissive hand at Jenimer and storms out of the chamber.
The guards react less, thinks Sinclair.
--
A few weeks after he is firmly entrenched as Ambassador (during which he's done practically nothing - he can hardly contact the StellarCom system, because the Minbari say there's an communications tower outage, but he's not convinced), Sinclair receives a message to an appointment. A meeting with the Council of Caste Elders. Rathenn comes in person to accompany him. "This is standard," he says. "For all ambassadors, when we have them."
"I'm not exactly a standard ambassador," reminds Sinclair.
"You are the first of your kind," says Rathenn. "Perhaps, the first of many." He smiles, grim. "I have not had the chance to apologise for my actions."
"Oh, the trial? Think nothing of it," says Sinclair, "in the end it was nothing, and nobody died, and there was no war."
"I meant aboard the Grey Council cruiser," says Rathenn. "When we probed your mind for information and stumbled upon your soul."
He stays quiet, and his smile fades. That's not nothing. He can't seem to find good words to tell Rathenn, so he says only, "Apology accepted," and hopes that Rathenn is more honest about his apologies than Neroon is.
Sinclair is surprised to see Neroon there. "Can I not get away from him," he murmurs. "Doesn't he live on the other side of the planet?"
"Alyt Neroon has served the Council of Caste Elders for three cycles," says Rathenn.
"I get it," says Sinclair. "He was here first."
Neroon wastes no time in making Sinclair feel as uninvited as possible. He is contemptuous and openly mocking of Sinclair (who isn't allowed to speak unless spoken to). "Do not forget," he warns, "that it was this man who was convicted of the assassination attempt on our Chosen One. What is it the Humans say? They're back on their bull-"
"Ahem," says Rathenn. "The Chosen One absolved him of that."
"Indeed," Neroon sneers, "at the eleventh hour, no less. How lucky." He turns his attention to Sinclair. "I wonder whether you too will be lucky. Or will you sample your own flarn in regards this assassination."
Sinclair narrows his eyes. "What is it you mean by that?"
"I understand assassinate is the term you use for murder, when it is directed at a person of some position," says Neroon. "Now you too have attained some position."
His blood runs cold in his veins. This isn't the first time the Minbari have made him nervous, or angry, but it's the first time he's felt so much of both at the same time. Neroon's face has never looked more punchable, though Sinclair would probably split the skin of his knucles on the bones. "Is that a threat?"
"Advice," hisses Neroon.
"Since the Star Rider Caste Elder has now exchanged enough words for the entire Warrior Caste, perhaps the Worker Caste Elders would like a turn to speak with our Human Ambassador," interjects Rathenn, and from the way nine of the people in the crowd half-smile and straighten, he's right.
--
They run into each other once more in Yedor before Sinclair leaves for Tuzanor. For Sinclair, Yedor has not yet become home, since Rathenn has started making suggestions that Sinclair doesn't feel able to refuse. But Neroon is rarely there anymore except for business. Business must have drawn him here: there's a Warrior Caste function in the city, and Neroon is probably expected to attend. Sinclair knows about it because Rathenn briefed him on it and told him to lie low for the day, though what the ceremony involves, he doesn't know. Given the fact that Sinclair was framed the last time there was a ceremony, he can almost understand it. But Rathenn's got a tedious way of being secretive. All the Religious Caste do, come to think of it. Sinclair is never allowed to know things until too late. Well, too late is what it already is.
Sinclair's curious. He actually doesn't know that much about the Warrior Caste's culture, come to think of it. They've got to do other things than bang war drums all the time, surely? They must have some kind of culture. Prussia did, back in historical times. So did America even at her most belligerent. And they'll never tell Sinclair of it because the Warrior Caste is so exclusive to outsiders, so Sinclair may as well find out for himself.
He watches from his high vantage point in his apartment. There's some marching, some flag waving, a few impressive dances with swords, and one warrior resplendent in the march dressed in what looks like plumage, like great wings made of blue pipe. It takes Sinclair too long to realise it's meant to symbolise a Sharlin cruiser.
Eventually, the drums and the harps are done, and the people mostly clear out. Only then does Sinclair venture down to ground level. He's drawing the eyes of many, now. That's something he's become used to (being the only human on Minbar will do that) but today feels more auspicious than usual.
After a few moments, Neroon appears at his shoulder. "What are you doing here, you fool Human?" he growls.
"Why, Neroon, you sound anxious. For my sake? Didn't know you cared," says Sinclair blandly.
Neroon doesn't deign to reply. "I highly doubt you intend to have participated in the annual marking of the loss of the Drala Fi."
Well, now. That makes sense, when he thinks about it. But the parade is over and Neroon can't expect him to stay in all day. "I wasn't even on the Lexington," he says.
"No, your Babylon station replacement Starkiller was."
"I lost people in that war too," protests Sinclair. "More than your kind did. I don't glorify the destruction of the Drala Fi like a trophy, the way some do."
"I lost my father aboard that very ship, the one whose loss we honour today," spits Neroon. "He was fifty times the man you are."
"I guess you take after your mother," retorts Sinclair.
Neroon tightens his fist - three inch-long crystal blades pop out of the black glove at the knuckles. Like Wolverine from that old style comic lit. It looks ridiculous, but Sinclair doesn't fancy his chances against them.
"That said, I won't apologise for my part in the war," says Sinclair.
"Nor do I for mine," says Neroon.
"That's right, you're proud of your genocide, as this parade proves," Sinclair mutters.
"If there were anything of Humanity worth saving, I've yet to see it!" snaps Neroon. "As far as I'm concerned, the universe is better off without you."
"I'd leave the interpretation of the state of the universe to your priests if I were you. Good day, Alyt." Sinclair turns on his heel and marches right back into his apartment. He'll wait until Neroon is gone before he takes another walk, though it grates him to wait for a schoolyard bully.
--
Not long after, Jenimer calls him for a meeting, in which he offers Sinclair the position of Anla'shok Na. He has to first explain what the Anla'shok are - a crew of information-scavengers, lightly armed.
"This sounds like a job better suited for the Warrior Caste," suggests Sinclair.
"It absolutely is not," says Jenimer. "Their actions in recent days have shown they bear no heed to our laws and standards of honour. I could not entrust them with the Anla'shok." Sinclair doesn't understand, but understanding is not required, because Jenimer is confident enough about his skills and vociferous enough about his opinions on the Warrior Caste, and that's enough for Sinclair, who has learnt by now to trust Jenimer's very good instincts.
"There is one more thing," says Jenimer, as he is about to leave. "You shall not have only the title Anla'shok Na, but that of Entil'Zha."
Rathenn gasps, just barely a sound.
"Do you disagree, Satai Rathenn?" asks Jenimer.
"Not with you, Chosen One," says Rathenn, "never. But...the prophecy..."
"Did not mention anyone by name," Jenimer finishes.
Rathenn is not as convinced. "How then are you so sure it is he?"
Jenimer explains his side of the story. It's... it's dubious at best, but Sinclair doesn't want to talk prophecy interpretation against the Chosen One, who was himself in his day a religious scholar. "Is there a significant difference in terms?" asks Sinclair instead. "Anla'shok Na, versus Entil'Zha?"
"One is simply the most senior Anla'shok. The other is a force mentioned by Valen in his prophecies," Rathenn tells him. "You can read them if you like."
Entil'Zha, Sinclair reads later. Out of shadows, hope shall emerge triumphant in the form of one who comes from outside the three castes, yet is of the three castes; Minbari not born of Minbari, who shall become Entil'Zha and awaken the Anla'shok, as the Shadows have been awakened, and lead them in the battle to defeat the Shadows. The one who comes after Valen. In Valen's name.
"This is a lot of pressure," Sinclair tells Jenimer, when next they meet.
So are formed the Ones, says the Vorlon Ambassador, Ulkesh Naranek, who remains an enigma kept secret by the Chosen One and the Religious Caste Satai.
Jenimer looks pleased. "You see?" he says, gesturing to the Vorlon. "Exactly what I thought."
Sinclair doesn't see at all.
--
Few warriors in the Council of Caste Elders are pleased to hear that he intends to open membership in the (formerly Warrior Caste exclusive) Anla'shok to the Worker and Religious Castes. Few are less pleased than Alyt Neroon. But Sinclair isn't done.
"Humans, too," he has already suggested to Jenimer, and this is really a step too far for many on the council. He had anticipated this. But Jenimer and Rathenn agree - there's a Valennic prophecy they cite about that, too, as being a perfect clue. (Sinclair's read the text himself. For a door has two sides, Valen wrote. It's vague and interpretive at best.)
Still, many voices object. Loudest of all is Neroon.
"An outrage!" he cries. "That a few members of our Religious Caste have misled our beloved Chosen One into participating in an illegal attempt to subvert the will of the Grey Council? Or the outrage that they would wilfully misinterpret a sacred prophecy to twist it beyond recognition, in an obscene attempt to make us believe it could refer to a Human!"
Neroon's words have Sinclair thinking. Twisted beyond recognition - he has to be clever about this. He has to twist Neroon's words just enough to convince the other Caste Elders to let him allow Humans to join the Anla'shok. But he has to twist them not so far that Neroon cannot save face. Sinclair doesn't want to make an enemy of Neroon.
I could take him, part of him thinks. If I had to. Physically. I've done it once before.
But Neroon strides like a predator all over the Council hall with his rhetoric and his drama and Sinclair finds he doesn't want to draw undue attention to himself by making an enemy of someone like Neroon, who clearly has the presence to command half the audience with his voice and the other half with his gestures.
"Look at him," says Neroon. "Standing there, with smug insolence. In this consecrated hall that no Human should ever have been allowed to defile. How many insults are we expected to endure at the hands of these Humans? How many more outrages can we expect you and your kind to heap upon us?"
Ah, thinks Sinclair. There it is. He shouldn't have asked me a question. Because then I'm allowed to speak in his halls, and give him an answer.
Sinclair is respectful, as best he can be, though he's convinced Neroon thinks ill of his Fik anyway, and argues that he agrees with Neroon on a few points: the obvious, that the assassination attempt was an outrage and a disgrace, and that he was ashamed on behalf of the Humanity that may or may not have taken part in the plot. And the less obvious:
"I also do not believe I am the fulfillment of any prophecy, Minbari or otherwise," says Sinclair. "I am just a simple fighter pilot. A soldier." Like you, he thinks. Neroon frowns. He tells Neroon he'd love to be home. He tells him he'd love not to take the job. That the past five years he hasn't held a position he actually chose to take but that he's been appointed and elected beyond his ability to refuse and that this is no different. That it's tempting to stick his head in the sand and pretend the Shadows haven't returned, that nothing is wrong, but that he can't do that - he just can't, he values life - all life, Minbari, Human, all of it - too much. That duty compels him and drives him. That it's a matter of survival, not of prophecy and religion. That if they let him, he'll train the Anla'shok well enough to fulfill the duty Valen asked of them a thousand years ago, and that he hopes they'll allow Humanity to help in that task this time.
Without realising it, he bares his heart and soul to Neroon and spills it over the Council floor.
God, he thinks, he's got to think I'm genuine. He's got to.
Neroon slow-claps in mockery. "Quite a little speech, Ambassador," he says acidly. Sinclair's heart sinks, and Neroon goes on to berate him in front of the Council with tirade and insult.
It ends in a period of deliberation. But just as Sinclair believes it's a lost cause, the Council comes back and Neroon himself announces it:
"The Caste Elders agree with the honoured Satai to permit the proposal: to recommission the Anla'shok to full military readiness, to allow both the Religious and Worker Caste to join, should they qualify ..."
He pauses. This is the moment of truth - Sinclair holds his breath -
"And to allow Humans to join also," says Neroon, loud and clear, though turmoil builds in the crowd behind him in whispers, "as long as certain conditions are met. First, while we give permission for the Anla'shok to be trained to perform the role they had in the last Shadow war, they may not be used to instigate war. They must continue to observe and gather intelligence, give aid to our friends and allies among the other worlds, where such help serves the common good, and to defend themselves when necessary. But they will take no action that will attract unwanted attention from the Shadows to Minbar."
Sinclair agrees. Neroon turns again to face him. "You may assume the title and function as Ranger One, but not the designation of Entil'Zha until you can prove yourself worthy of such a title," he snaps. Sinclair agrees.
And that's the last they see of each other for quite some time. From the way Neroon stalks out of the Council chamber, it looks like he's more than glad. Well. Likewise, thinks Sinclair.
--
There is naturally no word when Neroon is made Satai. More worryingly, Jenimer doesn't even know about it.
When Sinclair inquires with Rathenn later, he says only that, "Things may have to come to pass like this before we may pass them."
"Then you voted for him?!" cries Sinclair, incredulous. "I thought your Valen said balance!"
Rathenn neither confirms nor denies it, though his facial expression sours. "Valen also said out of balance comes unbalance before rebalance," he points out, and while it's technically a valid Valennic prophecy, that all sounds terribly vague. Maybe Neroon has a point when he talks about reading a little too much into the texts. The Religious Caste does it too, they're just more convinced of it than the Warrior Caste, and they promote their conviction as evidence for their argument. Since convincing and faith is part and parcel of their Caste, Sinclair wonders if it's all that fair, in the end.
He doesn't argue with Rathenn about it, though. "It's your decision," he says. "If you think Neroon will really be a good choice..."
Four warriors on the council. Just one swing vote and they get whatever they want!
"As Satai, he may be more tempered," says Rathenn. "His hotheaded-ness is borne of his position. No one pays attention to the regard of one Alyt among the whole standing army."
"He was plenty hot as a Caste Elder earlier," argues Sinclair.
"He is still Caste Elder," says Rathenn.
Sinclair shakes his head. "You really do give him too much power."
"I disagree. We give him power enough, indeed, but we give him work, too."
"You think he'll quit with the overwork?"
"Out of unbalance comes rebalance," says Rathenn, typically cryptic.
--
But Neroon doesn't quit. Rathenn starts complaining more and more about the changes Neroon makes. "He is obviously courting the Worker Caste," says Rathenn grumpily.
This surprises Sinclair. He hadn't thought Neroon thought so highly of them. Perhaps it was simply that he thought that much less of the Religious Caste.
Sinclair studies the changes Neroon proposes - which, if Rathenn is correct (there are no minutes taken in the Grey Council, making it murkier still) would easily seduce the Worker Caste. That's the swing vote, thinks Sinclair.
"He must work hard to convince the other warriors," says Rathenn, "but in the end they always vote with their caste. If enough of the Workers are convinced ..." Rathenn trails off. He clearly doesn't want to entertain the logical process.
"What harm could come of it?" asks Sinclair.
"Two castes against a third," grumbles Rathenn.
"Hasn't it always been that way?" says Sinclair. "You took the Workers' support for a sure thing for many years."
"You have been talking to Racine," says Rathenn, pouting.
But no, Sinclair hasn't. He's just been watching, and slowly, surely, trying to understand the power play dynamics.
Neroon is very clever, he thinks. Chess is more their speed but Sinclair wonders what the Minbari would think of poker.
--
Jenimer doesn't seem frail or wizened. He is old, that's true enough, but so is Racine on the Grey Council. (Rathenn is older than Sinclair but not as old as Jenimer, and as for Neroon... Sinclair has no idea.)
But Jenimer collapses once, and then once more, and the second time he collapses, he doesn't get up again.
They move him from the mobility chair to his bed at his barely conscious request, and that, it appears, is the end drawing nigh.
"Death is the road to awe," says Rathenn. "We return the part of the universe we carry within ourselves back to the stars. In Valen's name!"
"In Valen's name," repeats Filarel, the other Religious Caste Satai present in Jenimer's room, and a few of the Workers murmur their assent. The Warriors are tight-lipped.
It all sounds very poetic, and Jenimer's face is restful - he's clearly made his peace with it - if his wife and children haven't. But Sinclair isn't sure to extend sympathies if they, like Rathenn, consider it not a tragedy but an honour, to be reaccepted by the universe.
Sinclair has never before seen an infant Minbari. Jenimer's grandchild, he suspects. It's a tiny thing, swaddled in white. Pale milk skin where a white human baby is pinkish, and it has a faint blueish mottling on the top of its bald head. There is the beginning of a bone structure at its temples but it is a softer grey colour, lumpish and ill-formed, not as sharp-looking. Its eyes are open (dark brown, Sinclair notices) and it looks at Sinclair with wide-eyed wonder. There, he thinks. I'm just as alien to you as any of the people in here who aren't your parents.
Jenimer's last words to him are, "Remember me kindly. Continue to dream - you dream for us all."
Then, Jenimer beckons to Neroon. Four of nine, a sore thumb where he doesn't belong. Neroon for a scant moment looks terrified - Sinclair believes he can hear the oh stars why me? even though he's psi-null. But he shuffles over to Jenimer anyway. Jenimer takes his hand. Neroon doesn't look like he really wants to give it, but hasn't much choice. Jenimer whispers something. Neroon's face is inscrutable. Sinclair's dying to know what it was.
Jenimer's death is quick, but it's spared from Sinclair's view. Rathenn tugs at his elbow and draws him away to an adjoining waiting chamber - pitch black. More people file in, but they too wait with Sinclair in the darkness.
A light clicks on. Into the beam steps Neroon, his hood thrown back, his posture stiff. "The Chosen One's soul has returned to the great void from which we all arise, and to which we will all someday return," he says, dispassionately. He doesn't even sound like he believes it. Others begin chanting, murmuring, prayers and litanies. Neroon says nothing. He neither leads the prayer, nor participates in it, simply waits for it to be over.
Then he approaches Sinclair. He looks Sinclair dead in the eyes with a furious expression, but his voice is carefully neutral when he proclaims, "It was our Chosen One's sole last wish that Jeffrey David Sinclair of Earth be ordained, in the proper ceremony, before a quarter lunar cycle concludes, as Entil'Zha to follow in the sacred way of Valen. And thus it shall be done."
The room plunges back into darkness.
Sinclair doesn't move. He tenses, wondering if Neroon would attack him. No, even Neroon wouldn't do such a thing. (Though... waiting and lurking in the dark to ambush Sinclair... Neroon has literally done that very thing once before.)
Everybody else files out in a long, slow, procession, as the glass on the upper skylights filters back to clear. Sinclair is dismayed to learn once the light returns that Neroon is still standing in front of him. He hasn't even moved, has he? He spent all that time waiting. Standing there. Can Minbari see in the dark, Sinclair wonders. Another thing he should've asked Stephen about.
Rathenn is beside them both, and explains, after everybody has left, that as Religious Caste Satai, he will assist in the ceremony.
"I too," says Neroon. He's bitter again. "I do not know why our departed leader chose me for this unhappy task. Probably it is a punishment. But I will carry out my duty and oversee the preparations for the ceremony."
Well. At least that's an end of it. Neroon can't complain anymore, and maybe Neroon realises that too because he turns to leave.
Then something strikes him.
He catches up to Neroon in a few quick strides. "You could have denied it," Sinclair says. "Only you heard that missive. Jenimer didn't say anything of it to me. So, I'm curious... why go ahead and make public an edict that you so obviously disagree with, when you could just as easily have said nothing at all?"
Rathenn gapes. Neroon's lip curls as he says, "Only a Human would think of denying it! Only a Human could ask such a question!"
Sinclair steps closer to Neroon. Duty is one thing. Duty, Sinclair understands. "Look me in the eye," he says, "and tell me it didn't cross your mind, and I'll believe you."
Neroon looks him in the eye and says, "You go too far, Sinclair."
"That's not a no," says Sinclair.
"I honour our leader's last request because it is my duty to do so!" Neroon says. Sinclair grins. I knew it, he thinks. "Because I had come to respect the Chosen One as a person of will and strength, all the more impressive because of his physical frailty. And because I am told, whatever else you may be or represent, that you do not believe this outrageous falsehood about the transference of our souls to your Human species any more than I do. - Yes, I was told the story when I joined the Grey Council. Had I been told at the Battle of the Line that this was the reason we were surrendering, I would never have stopped fighting."
"You're proud to say that?" Sinclair asks. "That you'd have carried on with genocide? Even now, after all this time?"
What is it that is in Neroon's eyes when he asks this question? Uncertainty? Neroon has never seemed like the type to second-guess himself.
This amuses Sinclair. You see, he wants to say, we're quite similar, you and I. You don't want to do this any more than I do. All that talk about duty did get to you. You know what you saw in the Council chamber. You know what mettle we Humans can be made of. And it's honourable stuff and you can't deny that anymore. Sinclair feels victorious, having not only won this round but also gained the upper hand. I've got a splinter under your skin now, he thinks.
"And if the Rangers," drawls Neroon, using the English term, "are to be mostly Human, I see little harm in a Human Entil'Zha. As long as he does not fancy himself to be Minbari, or covet any position of power among my people. But know that we will be watching carefully."
Watch me all you want. "See," Sinclair said, "we have more in common than you want to admit."
Neroon says nothing more. He huffs, in impatience and disapproval, and tears out of the room.
"He is correct," says Rathenn, afterwards. "You do go too far."
But Entil'Zha he shall be.
--
Neroon becomes an annoying and semi-constant fixture in his life. Twice a week he meets with Sinclair and Rathenn - mostly Neroon and Rathenn do the talking, and Sinclair tries not to infuriate Neroon anymore than he already does by merely existing.
He watches Neroon during these sessions. Rathenn, too, though Rathenn is far less interesting to watch. Rathenn is transparent about his beliefs. Rathenn has been secretive but no more so than the rest of the Religious Caste. At least Neroon's honest in his hatred.
More than once Neroon cracks jokes. Puns, mostly, usually at Rathenn or the Religious Caste's expense. Rathenn doesn't reciprocate, but Neroon smirks at his own jokes anyway. Once he makes a pun about dishonour and the way that the Humans think (according to his experience). It's untranslateable into English, but the meaning comes off well enough in Fik and the words are simple enough that Sinclair catches it. Sinclair can't help a grin.
Neroon stops cracking puns after that. It's a pity.
--
It's a lie that the ceremony goes off without a hitch. Neroon was adamant about the sha'neyat. Death destroyer, they call it. It's potent for Minbari - it's toxic for Humans. And it's clear that Neroon intends to test just how Minbari not born of Minbari Rathenn and the late Jenimer and the rest of the Religious Caste believe Sinclair to be.
"Fine," says Sinclair. "I'll drink it. I only need to take a sip for tradition's sake. Isn't that right?"
"I agreed to a traditional ceremony," Neroon says. "That's a cup of sha'neyat -"
But Sinclair shakes his head. Neroon is clearly not used to being told 'no'. "The phrase is taste of it," says Sinclair. Just like Delenn in the ceremony she conducted at Babylon 5 for Minbari Religious culture. "I don't know what Minbari tastebuds are like but Humans don't need to drink a full cup of something to taste it." He turns to Neroon. "Will that satisfy your protocols?"
He almost expects Neroon to refuse. Neroon leans in, watching him carefully. "And ... you would be willing to actually swallow some of the liquid? Not simply raise the chalice to your lips?"
Sinclair makes sure he smiles. He stands his ground, and he doesn't break eye contact. Neroon can lose this staring contest. "I give you my word." Should Neroon actually think it's worth anything.
Which, if he doesn't think anything of Humans, he shouldn't.
Neroon watches Sinclair another moment. Take a picture, why don't you, thinks Sinclair. "That should suffice," he says, surprising Sinclair. And he inclines his head, which if Sinclair didn't know any better, he might think is respect. That would be the first respect he'd seen from Neroon since coming to Minbar.
So when he ascends the ramp in the Ranger base in Tuzanor, and listens to Rathenn drone on and on in an ancient Minbari tongue he can't decipher, and Valen's robes are laid at his feet, he knows it's by far the worst thing waiting for him. And he's not wrong. It burns and boils in his mouth and he knows he's not going to get at least one portion of his oesophagus back. Probably he's burnt some tastebuds. Somewhere in there, there's an aftertaste of sujeonggwa, if he squints.
Through this act, may Death be destroyed. Taste of it. Taste of the future, of Death. Of Life.
Don't cough, he tells himself. Don't cough. Swallow it. Swallow.
It's down. He gasps and tries to regulate his breathing.
There. The worst is over, he thinks. (He's wrong. Oh, he's so wrong!)
Rathenn looks concerned. Catherine, who arrived days ago and began Ranger training herself, looks terrified. Neroon is studying him like a particularly interesting science project. Sinclair fixes his glance on Neroon, so that if he projectile vomits, Neroon's in the splash zone.
Rathenn concludes the ceremony quickly enough and proclaims him Entil'Zha. The Rangers down in front cry out their vows. "Entil'Zha," says Rathenn again.
"Entil'Zha," murmurs Neroon, watching Sinclair carefully.
Sinclair's going to pass out any minute now. He staggers down the ramp with Catherine's arm looped through his and by the last few steps he's relying on her strength more than his own.
"Here," she says, "the doctors are already waiting for you -"
"Entil'Zha," declares Neroon. He grins. "Feeling a little ill?"
"A sense - of h-humour?" Sinclair tuts, laughing derisively through the pain. "Think I liked - your puns - better."
And that's pretty well the last thing he remembers for the next three days.
--
The last time he sees Neroon, he doesn't realise it's the last time. Perhaps if he had, he would not have been so impatient.
But too much has happened. They go to the temporal rift on Ulkesh's advice. They take a Vorlon/Minbari hybrid ship they're calling the White Star. Marcus, Sinclair, and Catherine fly outbound. Only Sinclair and Marcus make it back to Minbar. He has a massive scar on his face now. He leaves it there, though the Minbari doctors think it's a terrible idea to demonstrate a physical flaw. This is all I have left of her, he thinks.
Vir comes to Minbar. Vir leaves Minbar. Clark's fascist authoritarianism becomes more and more overt. Mars, Proxima III, Orion VII, and Babylon 5 declare independence. The Shadows begin openly attacking. Kosh dies.
Kosh had given him condolences when Catherine didn't return. But there is no one to give condolences to for Kosh. Ulkesh has already left for Babylon 5 and after spending months with the guy, Sinclair isn't sure he understands what condolences are.
Too much has happened, and Sinclair has precious little patience left. They cross paths in Tuzanor after a Council meeting. Sinclair isn't sure what he's expecting. A cool nod, exchanged across the street? A single word greeting, "Entil'Zha," acknowledging his existence? But he gets nothing. Neroon passes a glance over Sinclair and it's gone a second later, as though he's nothing.
It dawns on him then. The threats Neroon made as an Alyt of the Warrior Caste, he was unable to carry out as Satai. But, there's no more Grey Council anymore. "Well," says Sinclair. "You're free now, I expect. Make your move."
Neroon narrows his eyes. "I don't understand your foolish words," he replies. "Explain yourself."
"You're no longer Satai. So make the move you've wanted to make for over a year now. Nothing is stopping you." Sinclair adds further, "Delenn isn't here. Jenimer isn't here. Even Rathenn holds no more power over you, no Satai does because there are no more Satai! Have at it."
Maybe he'll see Catherine on the other side. Nothing matters.
"You are Entil'Zha," says Neroon, like Sinclair doesn't know. "Valen reborn. It would be an unthinkable crime, to strike Valen."
"You already struck me once," points out Sinclair.
"You were not Entil'Zha then," says Neroon. A muscle in his jaw tightens; he's probably grinding his teeth. "You think I don't respect institutions," he continues. "That I don't respect tradition. I have greater respect for tradition than you could ever conceive of. But I don't have to explain my ways to you."
It'd be easier if you did, thinks Sinclair. We wouldn't misunderstand each other so often.
But that's an end of it. Neroon whirls on his heel and leaves the Ranger base, and Sinclair never sees him again. Two weeks later he sets a course for Babylon 5 (well, Babylon 4), having received a missive from Valen himself and, well -
The rest is (Minbari) history.
Title: (untitled)
Characters: Sinclair, Neroon, Rathenn, Jenimer, Catherine Sakai & Delenn make minor appearances.
Wordcount: ~6k
Rating: G
Summary: A collection of Sinclair & Neroon moments that weren't Legacies.
Notes: Spoilers for and the occasional dialogue line from the first four Babylon 5 comics and the novel 'To Dream in the City of Sorrows' (by Kathryn M Drennan) - and everything about Sinclair's character arc past Season 1.
Sinclair arrives on Minbar in 2259, after having been briefed at Earth Central by the new President, Clark himself. It's wild, to take in everything. The Minbari stopped because they think we have their souls. Of all the excuses. Sinclair isn't the most religious guy, though he's not the least religious guy either, but it's a long shot of a tale. Besides, it places all the power in - who else - the hands of the Minbari. It's their religion that made them stop, not any of Earth's.
Sinclair's way to Minbar isn't as smooth a ride as it could be. Racine - Satai for the Worker Caste - accompanies him for the most part on the Grey Council cruiser. Worker Caste is fine, thinks Sinclair. Actually, Worker Caste is even better. After all, now that he can remember those twenty-four hours, he remembers it was the Religious and the Warrior Castes who drugged him, beat him, and tortured him - until they realised he was Minbari enough not to dispose of. Neroon's scowl. Rathenn's leer. Delenn's supercilious smile.
What happened, old friend, wonders Sinclair. And he realises that maybe she was only ever a friend because she wanted to keep tabs on him.
No, that can't be. Delenn's learnt something in her time on Babylon 5, surely. The Minbari - can't be so bad. They can learn. Even their military caste. Didn't Neroon apologise for his actions involving his superior officer Branmer's death?
That's why he thinks he sees her on the cruiser, after a flyer docks en route to Minbar, for the ceremony to install a new Chosen One (the first of their kind since Dukhat). Why wouldn't Delenn be at the ceremony? Garibaldi said she'd be there. She's different, he'd added. But Sinclair couldn't get very far to ask before the Warrior Caste guard barred his way.
She comes to him later, in Yedor before the Chosen One's parade. She is different.
"I am now only half-Minbari," she explains. "I am also half-Human." Her hair is glossy dark brown and sleek and it falls in waves around and about her crest. Sinclair looks to the Warrior Caste guards who have accompanied her, but they stand stock still at the door, one male and one female. If either of them disapprove to Delenn's words, they don't react. Sinclair blinks, disbelieving, but Delenn remains as she is. He raises a hand almost to touch it, to convince himself it's really there, it's not glued on, but a warning look from Delenn has him frozen.
"Why would you do this?" he asks instead.
"It is foretold," she says. He has more questions but Delenn puts up a slender hand and he stops. "I can explain no further. It is good to see you again, but I must attend the ceremony. Will you be joining us?"
Sinclair shakes his head. "I'll watch it from up here," he says, referring to his high vantage point above the central plaza. "Where I won't be a distraction-"
A Warrior Caste member interrupts them, bursting into the room. "Kozorr?" asks Delenn.
Kozorr is angry and scowling, but not enough to forget his manners, and he bows deeply. "Excuse the intrusion, Satai. But I would prefer it if you would remain for a moment to act as witness..."
--
A map of the parade procession. A plasma-rifle. Hidden in a false top on Sinclair's luggage. A message from Babylon 5 sent to Minbar advising them an assassin was on the planet. I know I packed those bags myself, he thinks, I know I don't have a false top on my damn luggage. This all smacks of a set-up. Of course, things can't be simple on Minbar. But nobody will believe Sinclair except Delenn, and though she is Satai, and Sinclair realises that means something to these people, she's only one of nine. Rathenn has begun keeping his distance. So has Racine.
Sinclair's not lying, and Minbari don't lie. But according to their - whatever process they've got with their triluminary, he's not Minbari enough to rely on that alone. And so they go to court, where he meets a familiar face. Scowling again.
"Ambassador Sinclair," announces Neroon, in the judicial council chamber. "You stand accused of plotting to assassinate the Chosen One, our Leader. How do you plead?"
Evidently all love is lost, if there ever was any to begin with. He'd seemed so sincere in his apology, thinks Sinclair. What happened? Where is that man now? He can't have been acting. Isn't all acting lying, in the end?
"Answer the court!" thunders Neroon.
--
In the end his time is bought by Delenn's interference (though Neroon tries his best to bar her from the tribunal entirely, citing conflict of interest - and Sinclair hates to admit it, he's probably correct, but if that were the case then Neroon himself shouldn't be anywhere near the tribunal because they have history too, and yet here he is). Further information from Babylon 5 that shows Miss Winters uncovered an assassination plot, but it's Human-led, and that's not good enough for the Minbari, certainly not the Warrior Caste. Sinclair humbly suggests sacrificing his own life in exchange for a second Earth-Minbari war - maybe an openly honourable move will help convince Neroon out of banging the war drums? And the judges grant the request before a single Minbari man, about as old as Racine, strides into the judicial chamber, resplendent in white, with a gold belt.
This, Sinclair finds out later, is Jenimer.
Jenimer withdraws all charges against Sinclair and pardons him in full, as is his right both as Chosen One and as the target of assassination, and that's that. Neroon has to accept it, which he does, though he curls his lip in a hateful grimace.
"If I were in charge of this investigation," growls Neroon, "it would have gone differently. Your people organised this."
"And you won't forget it anytime soon," supposes Sinclair.
"I have not forgotten it since the end of your war!" Neroon shouts. "Your kind have shown time and again that you lack honour. We should not even deal with you at all, though our Religious Caste bids it so." He waves a dismissive hand at Jenimer and storms out of the chamber.
The guards react less, thinks Sinclair.
--
A few weeks after he is firmly entrenched as Ambassador (during which he's done practically nothing - he can hardly contact the StellarCom system, because the Minbari say there's an communications tower outage, but he's not convinced), Sinclair receives a message to an appointment. A meeting with the Council of Caste Elders. Rathenn comes in person to accompany him. "This is standard," he says. "For all ambassadors, when we have them."
"I'm not exactly a standard ambassador," reminds Sinclair.
"You are the first of your kind," says Rathenn. "Perhaps, the first of many." He smiles, grim. "I have not had the chance to apologise for my actions."
"Oh, the trial? Think nothing of it," says Sinclair, "in the end it was nothing, and nobody died, and there was no war."
"I meant aboard the Grey Council cruiser," says Rathenn. "When we probed your mind for information and stumbled upon your soul."
He stays quiet, and his smile fades. That's not nothing. He can't seem to find good words to tell Rathenn, so he says only, "Apology accepted," and hopes that Rathenn is more honest about his apologies than Neroon is.
Sinclair is surprised to see Neroon there. "Can I not get away from him," he murmurs. "Doesn't he live on the other side of the planet?"
"Alyt Neroon has served the Council of Caste Elders for three cycles," says Rathenn.
"I get it," says Sinclair. "He was here first."
Neroon wastes no time in making Sinclair feel as uninvited as possible. He is contemptuous and openly mocking of Sinclair (who isn't allowed to speak unless spoken to). "Do not forget," he warns, "that it was this man who was convicted of the assassination attempt on our Chosen One. What is it the Humans say? They're back on their bull-"
"Ahem," says Rathenn. "The Chosen One absolved him of that."
"Indeed," Neroon sneers, "at the eleventh hour, no less. How lucky." He turns his attention to Sinclair. "I wonder whether you too will be lucky. Or will you sample your own flarn in regards this assassination."
Sinclair narrows his eyes. "What is it you mean by that?"
"I understand assassinate is the term you use for murder, when it is directed at a person of some position," says Neroon. "Now you too have attained some position."
His blood runs cold in his veins. This isn't the first time the Minbari have made him nervous, or angry, but it's the first time he's felt so much of both at the same time. Neroon's face has never looked more punchable, though Sinclair would probably split the skin of his knucles on the bones. "Is that a threat?"
"Advice," hisses Neroon.
"Since the Star Rider Caste Elder has now exchanged enough words for the entire Warrior Caste, perhaps the Worker Caste Elders would like a turn to speak with our Human Ambassador," interjects Rathenn, and from the way nine of the people in the crowd half-smile and straighten, he's right.
--
They run into each other once more in Yedor before Sinclair leaves for Tuzanor. For Sinclair, Yedor has not yet become home, since Rathenn has started making suggestions that Sinclair doesn't feel able to refuse. But Neroon is rarely there anymore except for business. Business must have drawn him here: there's a Warrior Caste function in the city, and Neroon is probably expected to attend. Sinclair knows about it because Rathenn briefed him on it and told him to lie low for the day, though what the ceremony involves, he doesn't know. Given the fact that Sinclair was framed the last time there was a ceremony, he can almost understand it. But Rathenn's got a tedious way of being secretive. All the Religious Caste do, come to think of it. Sinclair is never allowed to know things until too late. Well, too late is what it already is.
Sinclair's curious. He actually doesn't know that much about the Warrior Caste's culture, come to think of it. They've got to do other things than bang war drums all the time, surely? They must have some kind of culture. Prussia did, back in historical times. So did America even at her most belligerent. And they'll never tell Sinclair of it because the Warrior Caste is so exclusive to outsiders, so Sinclair may as well find out for himself.
He watches from his high vantage point in his apartment. There's some marching, some flag waving, a few impressive dances with swords, and one warrior resplendent in the march dressed in what looks like plumage, like great wings made of blue pipe. It takes Sinclair too long to realise it's meant to symbolise a Sharlin cruiser.
Eventually, the drums and the harps are done, and the people mostly clear out. Only then does Sinclair venture down to ground level. He's drawing the eyes of many, now. That's something he's become used to (being the only human on Minbar will do that) but today feels more auspicious than usual.
After a few moments, Neroon appears at his shoulder. "What are you doing here, you fool Human?" he growls.
"Why, Neroon, you sound anxious. For my sake? Didn't know you cared," says Sinclair blandly.
Neroon doesn't deign to reply. "I highly doubt you intend to have participated in the annual marking of the loss of the Drala Fi."
Well, now. That makes sense, when he thinks about it. But the parade is over and Neroon can't expect him to stay in all day. "I wasn't even on the Lexington," he says.
"No, your Babylon station replacement Starkiller was."
"I lost people in that war too," protests Sinclair. "More than your kind did. I don't glorify the destruction of the Drala Fi like a trophy, the way some do."
"I lost my father aboard that very ship, the one whose loss we honour today," spits Neroon. "He was fifty times the man you are."
"I guess you take after your mother," retorts Sinclair.
Neroon tightens his fist - three inch-long crystal blades pop out of the black glove at the knuckles. Like Wolverine from that old style comic lit. It looks ridiculous, but Sinclair doesn't fancy his chances against them.
"That said, I won't apologise for my part in the war," says Sinclair.
"Nor do I for mine," says Neroon.
"That's right, you're proud of your genocide, as this parade proves," Sinclair mutters.
"If there were anything of Humanity worth saving, I've yet to see it!" snaps Neroon. "As far as I'm concerned, the universe is better off without you."
"I'd leave the interpretation of the state of the universe to your priests if I were you. Good day, Alyt." Sinclair turns on his heel and marches right back into his apartment. He'll wait until Neroon is gone before he takes another walk, though it grates him to wait for a schoolyard bully.
--
Not long after, Jenimer calls him for a meeting, in which he offers Sinclair the position of Anla'shok Na. He has to first explain what the Anla'shok are - a crew of information-scavengers, lightly armed.
"This sounds like a job better suited for the Warrior Caste," suggests Sinclair.
"It absolutely is not," says Jenimer. "Their actions in recent days have shown they bear no heed to our laws and standards of honour. I could not entrust them with the Anla'shok." Sinclair doesn't understand, but understanding is not required, because Jenimer is confident enough about his skills and vociferous enough about his opinions on the Warrior Caste, and that's enough for Sinclair, who has learnt by now to trust Jenimer's very good instincts.
"There is one more thing," says Jenimer, as he is about to leave. "You shall not have only the title Anla'shok Na, but that of Entil'Zha."
Rathenn gasps, just barely a sound.
"Do you disagree, Satai Rathenn?" asks Jenimer.
"Not with you, Chosen One," says Rathenn, "never. But...the prophecy..."
"Did not mention anyone by name," Jenimer finishes.
Rathenn is not as convinced. "How then are you so sure it is he?"
Jenimer explains his side of the story. It's... it's dubious at best, but Sinclair doesn't want to talk prophecy interpretation against the Chosen One, who was himself in his day a religious scholar. "Is there a significant difference in terms?" asks Sinclair instead. "Anla'shok Na, versus Entil'Zha?"
"One is simply the most senior Anla'shok. The other is a force mentioned by Valen in his prophecies," Rathenn tells him. "You can read them if you like."
Entil'Zha, Sinclair reads later. Out of shadows, hope shall emerge triumphant in the form of one who comes from outside the three castes, yet is of the three castes; Minbari not born of Minbari, who shall become Entil'Zha and awaken the Anla'shok, as the Shadows have been awakened, and lead them in the battle to defeat the Shadows. The one who comes after Valen. In Valen's name.
"This is a lot of pressure," Sinclair tells Jenimer, when next they meet.
So are formed the Ones, says the Vorlon Ambassador, Ulkesh Naranek, who remains an enigma kept secret by the Chosen One and the Religious Caste Satai.
Jenimer looks pleased. "You see?" he says, gesturing to the Vorlon. "Exactly what I thought."
Sinclair doesn't see at all.
--
Few warriors in the Council of Caste Elders are pleased to hear that he intends to open membership in the (formerly Warrior Caste exclusive) Anla'shok to the Worker and Religious Castes. Few are less pleased than Alyt Neroon. But Sinclair isn't done.
"Humans, too," he has already suggested to Jenimer, and this is really a step too far for many on the council. He had anticipated this. But Jenimer and Rathenn agree - there's a Valennic prophecy they cite about that, too, as being a perfect clue. (Sinclair's read the text himself. For a door has two sides, Valen wrote. It's vague and interpretive at best.)
Still, many voices object. Loudest of all is Neroon.
"An outrage!" he cries. "That a few members of our Religious Caste have misled our beloved Chosen One into participating in an illegal attempt to subvert the will of the Grey Council? Or the outrage that they would wilfully misinterpret a sacred prophecy to twist it beyond recognition, in an obscene attempt to make us believe it could refer to a Human!"
Neroon's words have Sinclair thinking. Twisted beyond recognition - he has to be clever about this. He has to twist Neroon's words just enough to convince the other Caste Elders to let him allow Humans to join the Anla'shok. But he has to twist them not so far that Neroon cannot save face. Sinclair doesn't want to make an enemy of Neroon.
I could take him, part of him thinks. If I had to. Physically. I've done it once before.
But Neroon strides like a predator all over the Council hall with his rhetoric and his drama and Sinclair finds he doesn't want to draw undue attention to himself by making an enemy of someone like Neroon, who clearly has the presence to command half the audience with his voice and the other half with his gestures.
"Look at him," says Neroon. "Standing there, with smug insolence. In this consecrated hall that no Human should ever have been allowed to defile. How many insults are we expected to endure at the hands of these Humans? How many more outrages can we expect you and your kind to heap upon us?"
Ah, thinks Sinclair. There it is. He shouldn't have asked me a question. Because then I'm allowed to speak in his halls, and give him an answer.
Sinclair is respectful, as best he can be, though he's convinced Neroon thinks ill of his Fik anyway, and argues that he agrees with Neroon on a few points: the obvious, that the assassination attempt was an outrage and a disgrace, and that he was ashamed on behalf of the Humanity that may or may not have taken part in the plot. And the less obvious:
"I also do not believe I am the fulfillment of any prophecy, Minbari or otherwise," says Sinclair. "I am just a simple fighter pilot. A soldier." Like you, he thinks. Neroon frowns. He tells Neroon he'd love to be home. He tells him he'd love not to take the job. That the past five years he hasn't held a position he actually chose to take but that he's been appointed and elected beyond his ability to refuse and that this is no different. That it's tempting to stick his head in the sand and pretend the Shadows haven't returned, that nothing is wrong, but that he can't do that - he just can't, he values life - all life, Minbari, Human, all of it - too much. That duty compels him and drives him. That it's a matter of survival, not of prophecy and religion. That if they let him, he'll train the Anla'shok well enough to fulfill the duty Valen asked of them a thousand years ago, and that he hopes they'll allow Humanity to help in that task this time.
Without realising it, he bares his heart and soul to Neroon and spills it over the Council floor.
God, he thinks, he's got to think I'm genuine. He's got to.
Neroon slow-claps in mockery. "Quite a little speech, Ambassador," he says acidly. Sinclair's heart sinks, and Neroon goes on to berate him in front of the Council with tirade and insult.
It ends in a period of deliberation. But just as Sinclair believes it's a lost cause, the Council comes back and Neroon himself announces it:
"The Caste Elders agree with the honoured Satai to permit the proposal: to recommission the Anla'shok to full military readiness, to allow both the Religious and Worker Caste to join, should they qualify ..."
He pauses. This is the moment of truth - Sinclair holds his breath -
"And to allow Humans to join also," says Neroon, loud and clear, though turmoil builds in the crowd behind him in whispers, "as long as certain conditions are met. First, while we give permission for the Anla'shok to be trained to perform the role they had in the last Shadow war, they may not be used to instigate war. They must continue to observe and gather intelligence, give aid to our friends and allies among the other worlds, where such help serves the common good, and to defend themselves when necessary. But they will take no action that will attract unwanted attention from the Shadows to Minbar."
Sinclair agrees. Neroon turns again to face him. "You may assume the title and function as Ranger One, but not the designation of Entil'Zha until you can prove yourself worthy of such a title," he snaps. Sinclair agrees.
And that's the last they see of each other for quite some time. From the way Neroon stalks out of the Council chamber, it looks like he's more than glad. Well. Likewise, thinks Sinclair.
--
There is naturally no word when Neroon is made Satai. More worryingly, Jenimer doesn't even know about it.
When Sinclair inquires with Rathenn later, he says only that, "Things may have to come to pass like this before we may pass them."
"Then you voted for him?!" cries Sinclair, incredulous. "I thought your Valen said balance!"
Rathenn neither confirms nor denies it, though his facial expression sours. "Valen also said out of balance comes unbalance before rebalance," he points out, and while it's technically a valid Valennic prophecy, that all sounds terribly vague. Maybe Neroon has a point when he talks about reading a little too much into the texts. The Religious Caste does it too, they're just more convinced of it than the Warrior Caste, and they promote their conviction as evidence for their argument. Since convincing and faith is part and parcel of their Caste, Sinclair wonders if it's all that fair, in the end.
He doesn't argue with Rathenn about it, though. "It's your decision," he says. "If you think Neroon will really be a good choice..."
Four warriors on the council. Just one swing vote and they get whatever they want!
"As Satai, he may be more tempered," says Rathenn. "His hotheaded-ness is borne of his position. No one pays attention to the regard of one Alyt among the whole standing army."
"He was plenty hot as a Caste Elder earlier," argues Sinclair.
"He is still Caste Elder," says Rathenn.
Sinclair shakes his head. "You really do give him too much power."
"I disagree. We give him power enough, indeed, but we give him work, too."
"You think he'll quit with the overwork?"
"Out of unbalance comes rebalance," says Rathenn, typically cryptic.
--
But Neroon doesn't quit. Rathenn starts complaining more and more about the changes Neroon makes. "He is obviously courting the Worker Caste," says Rathenn grumpily.
This surprises Sinclair. He hadn't thought Neroon thought so highly of them. Perhaps it was simply that he thought that much less of the Religious Caste.
Sinclair studies the changes Neroon proposes - which, if Rathenn is correct (there are no minutes taken in the Grey Council, making it murkier still) would easily seduce the Worker Caste. That's the swing vote, thinks Sinclair.
"He must work hard to convince the other warriors," says Rathenn, "but in the end they always vote with their caste. If enough of the Workers are convinced ..." Rathenn trails off. He clearly doesn't want to entertain the logical process.
"What harm could come of it?" asks Sinclair.
"Two castes against a third," grumbles Rathenn.
"Hasn't it always been that way?" says Sinclair. "You took the Workers' support for a sure thing for many years."
"You have been talking to Racine," says Rathenn, pouting.
But no, Sinclair hasn't. He's just been watching, and slowly, surely, trying to understand the power play dynamics.
Neroon is very clever, he thinks. Chess is more their speed but Sinclair wonders what the Minbari would think of poker.
--
Jenimer doesn't seem frail or wizened. He is old, that's true enough, but so is Racine on the Grey Council. (Rathenn is older than Sinclair but not as old as Jenimer, and as for Neroon... Sinclair has no idea.)
But Jenimer collapses once, and then once more, and the second time he collapses, he doesn't get up again.
They move him from the mobility chair to his bed at his barely conscious request, and that, it appears, is the end drawing nigh.
"Death is the road to awe," says Rathenn. "We return the part of the universe we carry within ourselves back to the stars. In Valen's name!"
"In Valen's name," repeats Filarel, the other Religious Caste Satai present in Jenimer's room, and a few of the Workers murmur their assent. The Warriors are tight-lipped.
It all sounds very poetic, and Jenimer's face is restful - he's clearly made his peace with it - if his wife and children haven't. But Sinclair isn't sure to extend sympathies if they, like Rathenn, consider it not a tragedy but an honour, to be reaccepted by the universe.
Sinclair has never before seen an infant Minbari. Jenimer's grandchild, he suspects. It's a tiny thing, swaddled in white. Pale milk skin where a white human baby is pinkish, and it has a faint blueish mottling on the top of its bald head. There is the beginning of a bone structure at its temples but it is a softer grey colour, lumpish and ill-formed, not as sharp-looking. Its eyes are open (dark brown, Sinclair notices) and it looks at Sinclair with wide-eyed wonder. There, he thinks. I'm just as alien to you as any of the people in here who aren't your parents.
Jenimer's last words to him are, "Remember me kindly. Continue to dream - you dream for us all."
Then, Jenimer beckons to Neroon. Four of nine, a sore thumb where he doesn't belong. Neroon for a scant moment looks terrified - Sinclair believes he can hear the oh stars why me? even though he's psi-null. But he shuffles over to Jenimer anyway. Jenimer takes his hand. Neroon doesn't look like he really wants to give it, but hasn't much choice. Jenimer whispers something. Neroon's face is inscrutable. Sinclair's dying to know what it was.
Jenimer's death is quick, but it's spared from Sinclair's view. Rathenn tugs at his elbow and draws him away to an adjoining waiting chamber - pitch black. More people file in, but they too wait with Sinclair in the darkness.
A light clicks on. Into the beam steps Neroon, his hood thrown back, his posture stiff. "The Chosen One's soul has returned to the great void from which we all arise, and to which we will all someday return," he says, dispassionately. He doesn't even sound like he believes it. Others begin chanting, murmuring, prayers and litanies. Neroon says nothing. He neither leads the prayer, nor participates in it, simply waits for it to be over.
Then he approaches Sinclair. He looks Sinclair dead in the eyes with a furious expression, but his voice is carefully neutral when he proclaims, "It was our Chosen One's sole last wish that Jeffrey David Sinclair of Earth be ordained, in the proper ceremony, before a quarter lunar cycle concludes, as Entil'Zha to follow in the sacred way of Valen. And thus it shall be done."
The room plunges back into darkness.
Sinclair doesn't move. He tenses, wondering if Neroon would attack him. No, even Neroon wouldn't do such a thing. (Though... waiting and lurking in the dark to ambush Sinclair... Neroon has literally done that very thing once before.)
Everybody else files out in a long, slow, procession, as the glass on the upper skylights filters back to clear. Sinclair is dismayed to learn once the light returns that Neroon is still standing in front of him. He hasn't even moved, has he? He spent all that time waiting. Standing there. Can Minbari see in the dark, Sinclair wonders. Another thing he should've asked Stephen about.
Rathenn is beside them both, and explains, after everybody has left, that as Religious Caste Satai, he will assist in the ceremony.
"I too," says Neroon. He's bitter again. "I do not know why our departed leader chose me for this unhappy task. Probably it is a punishment. But I will carry out my duty and oversee the preparations for the ceremony."
Well. At least that's an end of it. Neroon can't complain anymore, and maybe Neroon realises that too because he turns to leave.
Then something strikes him.
He catches up to Neroon in a few quick strides. "You could have denied it," Sinclair says. "Only you heard that missive. Jenimer didn't say anything of it to me. So, I'm curious... why go ahead and make public an edict that you so obviously disagree with, when you could just as easily have said nothing at all?"
Rathenn gapes. Neroon's lip curls as he says, "Only a Human would think of denying it! Only a Human could ask such a question!"
Sinclair steps closer to Neroon. Duty is one thing. Duty, Sinclair understands. "Look me in the eye," he says, "and tell me it didn't cross your mind, and I'll believe you."
Neroon looks him in the eye and says, "You go too far, Sinclair."
"That's not a no," says Sinclair.
"I honour our leader's last request because it is my duty to do so!" Neroon says. Sinclair grins. I knew it, he thinks. "Because I had come to respect the Chosen One as a person of will and strength, all the more impressive because of his physical frailty. And because I am told, whatever else you may be or represent, that you do not believe this outrageous falsehood about the transference of our souls to your Human species any more than I do. - Yes, I was told the story when I joined the Grey Council. Had I been told at the Battle of the Line that this was the reason we were surrendering, I would never have stopped fighting."
"You're proud to say that?" Sinclair asks. "That you'd have carried on with genocide? Even now, after all this time?"
What is it that is in Neroon's eyes when he asks this question? Uncertainty? Neroon has never seemed like the type to second-guess himself.
This amuses Sinclair. You see, he wants to say, we're quite similar, you and I. You don't want to do this any more than I do. All that talk about duty did get to you. You know what you saw in the Council chamber. You know what mettle we Humans can be made of. And it's honourable stuff and you can't deny that anymore. Sinclair feels victorious, having not only won this round but also gained the upper hand. I've got a splinter under your skin now, he thinks.
"And if the Rangers," drawls Neroon, using the English term, "are to be mostly Human, I see little harm in a Human Entil'Zha. As long as he does not fancy himself to be Minbari, or covet any position of power among my people. But know that we will be watching carefully."
Watch me all you want. "See," Sinclair said, "we have more in common than you want to admit."
Neroon says nothing more. He huffs, in impatience and disapproval, and tears out of the room.
"He is correct," says Rathenn, afterwards. "You do go too far."
But Entil'Zha he shall be.
--
Neroon becomes an annoying and semi-constant fixture in his life. Twice a week he meets with Sinclair and Rathenn - mostly Neroon and Rathenn do the talking, and Sinclair tries not to infuriate Neroon anymore than he already does by merely existing.
He watches Neroon during these sessions. Rathenn, too, though Rathenn is far less interesting to watch. Rathenn is transparent about his beliefs. Rathenn has been secretive but no more so than the rest of the Religious Caste. At least Neroon's honest in his hatred.
More than once Neroon cracks jokes. Puns, mostly, usually at Rathenn or the Religious Caste's expense. Rathenn doesn't reciprocate, but Neroon smirks at his own jokes anyway. Once he makes a pun about dishonour and the way that the Humans think (according to his experience). It's untranslateable into English, but the meaning comes off well enough in Fik and the words are simple enough that Sinclair catches it. Sinclair can't help a grin.
Neroon stops cracking puns after that. It's a pity.
--
It's a lie that the ceremony goes off without a hitch. Neroon was adamant about the sha'neyat. Death destroyer, they call it. It's potent for Minbari - it's toxic for Humans. And it's clear that Neroon intends to test just how Minbari not born of Minbari Rathenn and the late Jenimer and the rest of the Religious Caste believe Sinclair to be.
"Fine," says Sinclair. "I'll drink it. I only need to take a sip for tradition's sake. Isn't that right?"
"I agreed to a traditional ceremony," Neroon says. "That's a cup of sha'neyat -"
But Sinclair shakes his head. Neroon is clearly not used to being told 'no'. "The phrase is taste of it," says Sinclair. Just like Delenn in the ceremony she conducted at Babylon 5 for Minbari Religious culture. "I don't know what Minbari tastebuds are like but Humans don't need to drink a full cup of something to taste it." He turns to Neroon. "Will that satisfy your protocols?"
He almost expects Neroon to refuse. Neroon leans in, watching him carefully. "And ... you would be willing to actually swallow some of the liquid? Not simply raise the chalice to your lips?"
Sinclair makes sure he smiles. He stands his ground, and he doesn't break eye contact. Neroon can lose this staring contest. "I give you my word." Should Neroon actually think it's worth anything.
Which, if he doesn't think anything of Humans, he shouldn't.
Neroon watches Sinclair another moment. Take a picture, why don't you, thinks Sinclair. "That should suffice," he says, surprising Sinclair. And he inclines his head, which if Sinclair didn't know any better, he might think is respect. That would be the first respect he'd seen from Neroon since coming to Minbar.
So when he ascends the ramp in the Ranger base in Tuzanor, and listens to Rathenn drone on and on in an ancient Minbari tongue he can't decipher, and Valen's robes are laid at his feet, he knows it's by far the worst thing waiting for him. And he's not wrong. It burns and boils in his mouth and he knows he's not going to get at least one portion of his oesophagus back. Probably he's burnt some tastebuds. Somewhere in there, there's an aftertaste of sujeonggwa, if he squints.
Through this act, may Death be destroyed. Taste of it. Taste of the future, of Death. Of Life.
Don't cough, he tells himself. Don't cough. Swallow it. Swallow.
It's down. He gasps and tries to regulate his breathing.
There. The worst is over, he thinks. (He's wrong. Oh, he's so wrong!)
Rathenn looks concerned. Catherine, who arrived days ago and began Ranger training herself, looks terrified. Neroon is studying him like a particularly interesting science project. Sinclair fixes his glance on Neroon, so that if he projectile vomits, Neroon's in the splash zone.
Rathenn concludes the ceremony quickly enough and proclaims him Entil'Zha. The Rangers down in front cry out their vows. "Entil'Zha," says Rathenn again.
"Entil'Zha," murmurs Neroon, watching Sinclair carefully.
Sinclair's going to pass out any minute now. He staggers down the ramp with Catherine's arm looped through his and by the last few steps he's relying on her strength more than his own.
"Here," she says, "the doctors are already waiting for you -"
"Entil'Zha," declares Neroon. He grins. "Feeling a little ill?"
"A sense - of h-humour?" Sinclair tuts, laughing derisively through the pain. "Think I liked - your puns - better."
And that's pretty well the last thing he remembers for the next three days.
--
The last time he sees Neroon, he doesn't realise it's the last time. Perhaps if he had, he would not have been so impatient.
But too much has happened. They go to the temporal rift on Ulkesh's advice. They take a Vorlon/Minbari hybrid ship they're calling the White Star. Marcus, Sinclair, and Catherine fly outbound. Only Sinclair and Marcus make it back to Minbar. He has a massive scar on his face now. He leaves it there, though the Minbari doctors think it's a terrible idea to demonstrate a physical flaw. This is all I have left of her, he thinks.
Vir comes to Minbar. Vir leaves Minbar. Clark's fascist authoritarianism becomes more and more overt. Mars, Proxima III, Orion VII, and Babylon 5 declare independence. The Shadows begin openly attacking. Kosh dies.
Kosh had given him condolences when Catherine didn't return. But there is no one to give condolences to for Kosh. Ulkesh has already left for Babylon 5 and after spending months with the guy, Sinclair isn't sure he understands what condolences are.
Too much has happened, and Sinclair has precious little patience left. They cross paths in Tuzanor after a Council meeting. Sinclair isn't sure what he's expecting. A cool nod, exchanged across the street? A single word greeting, "Entil'Zha," acknowledging his existence? But he gets nothing. Neroon passes a glance over Sinclair and it's gone a second later, as though he's nothing.
It dawns on him then. The threats Neroon made as an Alyt of the Warrior Caste, he was unable to carry out as Satai. But, there's no more Grey Council anymore. "Well," says Sinclair. "You're free now, I expect. Make your move."
Neroon narrows his eyes. "I don't understand your foolish words," he replies. "Explain yourself."
"You're no longer Satai. So make the move you've wanted to make for over a year now. Nothing is stopping you." Sinclair adds further, "Delenn isn't here. Jenimer isn't here. Even Rathenn holds no more power over you, no Satai does because there are no more Satai! Have at it."
Maybe he'll see Catherine on the other side. Nothing matters.
"You are Entil'Zha," says Neroon, like Sinclair doesn't know. "Valen reborn. It would be an unthinkable crime, to strike Valen."
"You already struck me once," points out Sinclair.
"You were not Entil'Zha then," says Neroon. A muscle in his jaw tightens; he's probably grinding his teeth. "You think I don't respect institutions," he continues. "That I don't respect tradition. I have greater respect for tradition than you could ever conceive of. But I don't have to explain my ways to you."
It'd be easier if you did, thinks Sinclair. We wouldn't misunderstand each other so often.
But that's an end of it. Neroon whirls on his heel and leaves the Ranger base, and Sinclair never sees him again. Two weeks later he sets a course for Babylon 5 (well, Babylon 4), having received a missive from Valen himself and, well -
The rest is (Minbari) history.
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Date: 2019-02-02 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 02:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 09:01 am (UTC)That’s painfully true, though. At least originally. :(
Sinclair blinks, disbelieving, but Delenn remains as she is. He raises a hand almost to touch it, to convince himself it's really there, it's not glued on, but a warning look from Delenn has him frozen.
Ah I can so imagine the sort of look Delenn would give someone to freeze them in place. <3
"Why would you do this?" he asks instead.
"It is foretold," she says. He has more questions but Delenn puts up a slender hand and he stops.
I love the irony of her telling him that it is foretold so he can move on to foretell it eventually. It’s... messing with my brain though.
This all smacks of a set-up. Of course, things can't be simple on Minbar. But nobody will believe Sinclair except Delenn, and though she is Satai, and Sinclair realises that means something to these people, she's only one of nine.
Ah Minbari and their love for setting up human characters...
Evidently all love is lost, if there ever was any to begin with. He'd seemed so sincere in his apology, thinks Sinclair. What happened? Where is that man now? He can't have been acting. Isn't all acting lying, in the end?
Neroon! Can’t you just behave yourself? -_-
Sinclair humbly suggests sacrificing his own life in exchange for a second Earth-Minbari war - maybe an openly honourable move will help convince Neroon out of banging the war drums?
I love Sinclair so much... ever so diplomatic.
"Oh, the trial? Think nothing of it," says Sinclair, "in the end it was nothing, and nobody died, and there was no war."
<3 <3 <3 Oh Sinclair... my lovely dearly missed Sinclair. *curls into a ball*
"I meant aboard the Grey Council cruiser," says Rathenn. "When we probed your mind for information and stumbled upon your soul."
He stays quiet, and his smile fades. That's not nothing. He can't seem to find good words to tell Rathenn, so he says only, "Apology accepted," and hopes that Rathenn is more honest about his apologies than Neroon is.
That’s a little awkward... but then, I’m still glad we get a scene about that. - I love your Sinclair. He reads true to how I perceive him in canon and I’m delighted to see him written thus. <3
"Alyt Neroon has served the Council of Caste Elders for three cycles," says Rathenn.
"I get it," says Sinclair. "He was here first."
*sigh* Poor Sinclair!
"Is that a threat?"
"Advice," hisses Neroon.
*growls* You’re damn lucky I’m still oddly touched by how your life ends, you darned little warrior monster.
Sinclair's curious. He actually doesn't know that much about the Warrior Caste's culture, come to think of it. They've got to do other things than bang war drums all the time, surely? They must have some kind of culture. Prussia did, back in historical times. So did America even at her most belligerent. And they'll never tell Sinclair of it because the Warrior Caste is so exclusive to outsiders, so Sinclair may as well find out for himself.
I love Sinclair trying to understand the Warrior Caste by thinking about Earth history. :)
"I lost people in that war too," protests Sinclair. "More than your kind did. I don't glorify the destruction of the Drala Fi like a trophy, the way some do."
And that is one of the reasons you will always have an extra special place in my heart, Jeffrey Sinclair.
"I lost my father aboard that very ship, the one whose loss we honour today," spits Neroon. "He was fifty times the man you are."
"I guess you take after your mother," retorts Sinclair.
Now I love you to pieces. But don’t you dare insult someone’s mother. Even Neroon’s!
--- I do love the way you write Neroon vs. Sinclair. It’s beautiful.
Not long after, Jenimer calls him for a meeting, in which he offers Sinclair the position of Anla'shok Na. He has to first explain what the Anla'shok are - a crew of information-scavengers, lightly armed.
"This sounds like a job better suited for the Warrior Caste," suggests Sinclair.
I can hear Neroon agree with you on that one from over here, Jeff.
"This is a lot of pressure," Sinclair tells Jenimer, when next they meet.
It must’ve been delightful to write that one up for yourself when you’ve already done it. Like “sorry, future me.... but that’s just what life’s going to be like... not like my part’s easy”.
"An outrage!" he cries. "That a few members of our Religious Caste have misled our beloved Chosen One into participating in an illegal attempt to subvert the will of the Grey Council? Or the outrage that they would wilfully misinterpret a sacred prophecy to twist it beyond recognition, in an obscene attempt to make us believe it could refer to a Human!"
*pets Neroon* There, there. Just wait until you hear who’s next in line. <3
Ah, thinks Sinclair. There it is. He shouldn't have asked me a question. Because then I'm allowed to speak in his halls, and give him an answer.
:D
Neroon turns again to face him. "You may assume the title and function as Ranger One, but not the designation of Entil'Zha until you can prove yourself worthy of such a title," he snaps. Sinclair agrees.
Did I mention that I love the way you write them?
"Out of unbalance comes rebalance," says Rathenn, typically cryptic.
I love Minbari. I just do.
And I love Sinclair pointing out that the Worker Caste’s been taken for granted. And wondering how Neroon would feel about poker rather than chess. :D
"Remember me kindly. Continue to dream - you dream for us all."
*heart breaks*
"It was our Chosen One's sole last wish that Jeffrey David Sinclair of Earth be ordained, in the proper ceremony, before a quarter lunar cycle concludes, as Entil'Zha to follow in the sacred way of Valen. And thus it shall be done."
I bet Neroon loves that he’s the one who’s got to see to that.
"I honour our leader's last request because it is my duty to do so!" Neroon says. Sinclair grins.
Ah Neroon... life’s no fun for you, is it?
Sinclair tries not to infuriate Neroon anymore than he already does by merely existing.
That’s nice of you... :D
Once he makes a pun about dishonour and the way that the Humans think (according to his experience). It's untranslateable into English, but the meaning comes off well enough in Fik and the words are simple enough that Sinclair catches it. Sinclair can't help a grin.
Neroon stops cracking puns after that. It's a pity.
Oh... I’m half-way tempted to feel sorry for Neroon. :P
Sinclair makes sure he smiles. He stands his ground, and he doesn't break eye contact. Neroon can lose this staring contest.
Hah...
There. The worst is over, he thinks. (He's wrong. Oh, he's so wrong!)
-_-
The last time he sees Neroon, he doesn't realise it's the last time.
Awww. That’s kind of how those things go a lot of the time.
It'd be easier if you did, thinks Sinclair. We wouldn't misunderstand each other so often.
Aww. :(
But that's an end of it. Neroon whirls on his heel and leaves the Ranger base, and Sinclair never sees him again. Two weeks later he sets a course for Babylon 5 (well, Babylon 4), having received a missive from Valen himself and, well -
The rest is (Minbari) history.
Damn, that’s got me in the gut again. I miss him so, no matter how crucial his role is.
---
Oh I love this story. I love this so much. <3 --- Sorry, I know I get overexicted quoting bits and pieces. I really need to work on that.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 02:42 pm (UTC)For example, Neroon's speech about outrage is the way chapter 10 starts and all of that chapter is just Neroon, 100% back on his bullshit. And it's so, so delightful. You had it right, he is 100% a little warrior monster. Neroon sarcastic slow-clapping is also Drennan's addition, but it's the most fantastic image and I really want everybody to know that it is Actually Canon :'D And when he proclaims publicly both that Sinclair can be Entil'Zha - if he proves worthy - and then later that it's Jenimer's last wish to see Sinclair ordained, that's also canon Drennan. There's just a delightful amount of Neroon in that book and I'm in lOVE. of course probably narratively, it was the only thing that made sense, because he's the only Warrior Caste member we know really well, but considering he's also the least senior Satai and was appointed controversially, to have him do this maybe doesn't carry the same weight as say, someone who's been around a lot longer? but I won't complain for more Neroon speaking lines, and I love it that much more because Being Neroon Is Suffering :'D he's just so mad. All the time.
Anyway, this book is absolutely fantastic characterisation for Sinclair, and it was very formative on how I write him, and if there's any goodness in this, it's me standing on the shoulders of Drennan who came before.
Oh... I'm half-way tempted to feel sorry for Neroon. :P
hahahahah you really shouldn't :'D but it's great when you almost, almost feel sorry for him, and then he goes right back to being a monster. What a little shit.
It must've been delightful to write that one up for yourself when you've already done it. Like "sorry, future me.... but that's just what life's going to be like... not like my part's easy".
This!! This is just what I love about Sinclair and his character arc and I'm glad you pointed it out. I love the time-loop of it (I love time-travel arcs when they're closed loops with the "this happens because it's already happened" brain-hurty logic) and I love the little things, like how Valen is a name that comes out of circularity, he picks the name Valen because he's already picked the name Valen. No one ever thought 'hey Valen is a nice sounding name, yeah, let's go with that', it just is because it was. And Sinclair I feel is a tragic hero in that sense because he's never picking these roles for himself, they're foisted on him because they were deterministically foisted on him. When he talks about duty and the lack of choice he has no idea how much he means it. But my own personal headcanon is that is an incredibly Minbari thing, to serve without choice. Maybe nobody, ever, has a choice on Minbar, no matter what they do, and that could be an interesting story too.
The flip side of it is that Neroon and Sinclair are more alike than they know (well, than Neroon knows - Sinclair has worked it out), and the tragedy is that Neroon never gets to understand who he's speaking to, why he sounds familiar from time to time, and why Sinclair was able to kick his ass when Neroon slew (apparently) fifty thousand during the war (but hey, who's counting amirite). I feel like a lot that Neroon has difficulty with, esp in re: the Religious Caste, would be so clear if someone just sat him down and explained it all. But he never gets it, and is told to believe it instead, and I don't think belief works for his character the way it does, say, for Delenn, for whom belief is a powerful sustaining force.
SORRY I too could blather on about Sinclair and Neroon for DAYS as you can tell! but thank you for your lovely words once again, you have excellent insights!
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 03:31 pm (UTC)I really love your writing, so clearly this book must be awesome. :) -But then I generally love your writing. As I may have pointed out before. *clears throat* My tumblr handle’s mildly different. But I love your drabble project writing to pieces and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned that. Once. Or twice.-
As far as Neroon as a new member of the Grey Council goes though... that kind of mirrors how they react to Delenn, doesn’t it? Dukhat basically goes “yeah well, I want to hear what Delenn has to say, so shut up” while they’re discussing the decision to head to Z’Ha’Dum. And then they go “hey you make the decision whether we go to war or not!” while she’s in the midst of grieving a very recently deceased Dukhat. (Who the heck did they ask in Dukhat’s place, btw? There’s no way they already had another Satai sworn in while Dukhat was dying. Shouldn’t they have headed for a stalemate?)
Anyway, this book is absolutely fantastic characterisation for Sinclair, and it was very formative on how I write him, and if there's any goodness in this, it's me standing on the shoulders of Drennan who came before.
I am sure that there is also some goodness coming from your own skills, given that this is not the first of your stories I really love. And you’ve written stories about characters other than Sinclair that are excellent.
hahahahah you really shouldn't :'D but it's great when you almost, almost feel sorry for him, and then he goes right back to being a monster. What a little shit.
Well Neroon and I have a long storied history (well rooting back to when I started watching, so not that long) of me both hating him and kinda loving him anyway. And when he does the whole “oh shit, let’s save Delenn stunt” I can’t be mad at him the way I’d like to anymore. Because obviously he just saved Delenn. And I love Delenn. And while maybe it might’ve saved Lennier’s poor little soul if she’d died in a sacrifice of her own choosing, I can’t see him be happier without her. So you know... I kinda love the odd triangle you get with Delenn-Branmer-Neroon and how Neroon recognizes that it’s his best chance to be what Branmer might’ve wanted him to be is to take Delenn’s place. And offer a sacrifice that would have been an ending suited to Branmer, had he not been driven to war. Like... that and he manages (for that moment) to save Lennier from the pain he felt when Branmer was killed.
This!! This is just what I love about Sinclair and his character arc and I'm glad you pointed it out.
Yeah, I was half-way tempted to write my history drabble about that after reading this lovely story. But then I thought that you totally should be writing a history drabble focused on the loop thing because I’ll love it so much more that way.
And Sinclair I feel is a tragic hero in that sense because he's never picking these roles for himself, they're foisted on him because they were deterministically foisted on him.
So much this!
The flip side of it is that Neroon and Sinclair are more alike than they know (well, than Neroon knows - Sinclair has worked it out), and the tragedy is that Neroon never gets to understand who he's speaking to, why he sounds familiar from time to time, and why Sinclair was able to kick his ass when Neroon slew (apparently) fifty thousand during the war (but hey, who's counting amirite).
That’s an excellent point. - And if you think about it... they’re both more or less warrior caste characters who end up in a “my heart is religious” scenario towards the end. Because Sinclair might’ve been raised by Jesuits, but he’s not grown up to be as spiritual as they might’ve liked. Only to then become one of the various religious icons who’re not necessarily keen on the role and get worshipped anyway. - But B5 generally has a lot of people who get pushed and pulled into things they might even liked in theory originally and then grow weary of with time.
But he never gets it, and is told to believe it instead, and I don't think belief works for his character the way it does, say, for Delenn, for whom belief is a powerful sustaining force.
Well to be fair, Neroon does decide to put an end to the civil war by claiming his heart is religious and telling people to listen to Delenn. --- And well, I do have way too many thoughts on how faith is a very dangerous slippery slope for Delenn (and Lennier with her). And how eventually her faith’s not nearly as strong as it used to be anymore. But we might get to this eventually. I do have three days claimed. :D
SORRY I too could blather on about Sinclair and Neroon for DAYS as you can tell! but thank you for your lovely words once again, you have excellent insights!
Oh I’d love to listen to you talking about them some more. I can talk forever about my favorites, too. And I do love Sinclair very dearly. And Neroon... well... *growls at him* he’s definitely a character I find very remarkable among the less frequently recurring ones.
And aww, thanks... all I did was fangirl your story, really. :D
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 08:54 pm (UTC)As far as Neroon as a new member of the Grey Council goes though... that kind of mirrors how they react to Delenn, doesn't it?
oooh, you're totally right - she is apparently inducted as Satai like, en route to Z'ha'dum just before they fatefully meet up with the Humans, so she would've been the brand new Satai. But Satai is Satai so her vote still counts despite seniority, I take it! but also maybe being Dukhat's acolyte means the Grey Council would've seen her around so often they would have accepted her as Satai more easily than a fourth Warrior. Still, I love the parallels.
(Who the heck did they ask in Dukhat's place, btw? There's no way they already had another Satai sworn in while Dukhat was dying. Shouldn't they have headed for a stalemate?)
Dukhat was Chosen One, so he would've been a +1 to the rest of the nine for whatever they chose anyway, but it would've been eight without Delenn, and then yeah it'd be a stalemate! Very Peculiar Timing to appoint a Satai...
Well Neroon and I have a long storied history (well rooting back to when I started watching, so not that long) of me both hating him and kinda loving him anyway.
oh yessss gooood >D he's so great for that! I really love your thoughts on his arc wrt Branmer and Delenn btw, the Neroon-Delenn dynamic is so great and at the end of the day, he really can't not respect her (honestly, relatable). He's not dumb, he must've put it together that hey this priestess is really important and her being dead is not a thing that should happen. Your mentioning of Lennier's thoughts on it reminded me of this fic which is beautiful for so many reasons but also features the Starfire Wheel Incident narrated from Lennier's POV. it's a couple years old so maybe you've already read it but in case you hadn't! man... Neroon and Lennier could've played off so well against each other....
Yeah, I was half-way tempted to write my history drabble about that after reading this lovely story.
:O I WOULD LOVE SUCH A THING, HINT HINT and you're right, Sinclair is not your average Jesuit by magnitude of religiosity for sure. That adds another element of regret to the whole thing, he probably spends all his life as Valen being like "okay I have some cool changes for you, Minbar, but like don't worship me or anything, Cults Aren't Cool" knowing all along they're 1000% gonna make a cult out of this.
And well, I do have way too many thoughts on how faith is a very dangerous slippery slope for Delenn (and Lennier with her). And how eventually her faith's not nearly as strong as it used to be anymore. But we might get to this eventually. I do have three days claimed. :D
OH BOY I await all of them with bated breath :D \o/ these are fantastic thoughts and ideas and I'm really excited to hear you expound them more!
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Date: 2019-02-02 09:43 pm (UTC)<3 Well I’m glad to have you around.
oooh, you're totally right - she is apparently inducted as Satai like, en route to Z'ha'dum just before they fatefully meet up with the Humans, so she would've been the brand new Satai. But Satai is Satai so her vote still counts despite seniority, I take it! but also maybe being Dukhat's acolyte means the Grey Council would've seen her around so often they would have accepted her as Satai more easily than a fourth Warrior. Still, I love the parallels.
Yes... that’s true of course. But their behavior towards her during the war sound as if she’s an accepted leader. She receives reports. She’s the one who gets to enter Dukhat’s sanctuary. She gives orders. And she chooses her mission after she’s found a way to end the war she wanted to end. The whole thing reads like “yeah I’m doing my thing, don’t get in my way”. Which given that there are nine...
Dukhat was Chosen One, so he would've been a +1 to the rest of the nine for whatever they chose anyway, but it would've been eight without Delenn, and then yeah it'd be a stalemate! Very Peculiar Timing to appoint a Satai...
You’re right of course. I keep having trouble with the concept that Dukhat’s the Chosen One despite the mentions because I always think of the whole “the Chosen One doesn’t leave these halls” thing. Which Dukhat most obviously did, given the quest to Z’Ha’Dum. - Half of me wonders why Delenn didn’t let them appoint her as Chosen One to then declare “and now I’m heading back to Babylon 5, anyone’s got comments try me...”
oh yessss gooood >D he's so great for that! I really love your thoughts on his arc wrt Branmer and Delenn btw, the Neroon-Delenn dynamic is so great and at the end of the day, he really can't not respect her (honestly, relatable). He's not dumb, he must've put it together that hey this priestess is really important and her being dead is not a thing that should happen. Your mentioning of Lennier's thoughts on it reminded me of this fic which is beautiful for so many reasons but also features the Starfire Wheel Incident narrated from Lennier's POV. it's a couple years old so maybe you've already read it but in case you hadn't! man... Neroon and Lennier could've played off so well against each other....
I’ll definitely bookmark that to read at a better time. (It’s getting late here and I’m still trying to sort a whole bunch of thoughts currently whizzing through my brain before I can get some sleep.)
--- Well she also proves more courageous and honorable than Shakiri. And Lennier’s at his most exemplary “you are breaking my heart but I will obey your orders”, which should appeal to Neroon. Because I mean, a mix of honor, courage and orders followed? That should kind of appeal to all Minbari, and certainly to a warrior caste one...
Yeah, I was half-way tempted to write my history drabble about that after reading this lovely story.
:O I WOULD LOVE SUCH A THING, HINT HINT and you're right, Sinclair is not your average Jesuit by magnitude of religiosity for sure. That adds another element of regret to the whole thing, he probably spends all his life as Valen being like "okay I have some cool changes for you, Minbar, but like don't worship me or anything, Cults Aren't Cool" knowing all along they're 1000% gonna make a cult out of this.
But you should be the one to write it! Because you’d do a much better job at it. And anyway, I’d probably end up looking at the whole thing from Delenn’s point of view. And then it’d end up getting into the same thing I’m currently trying to write meta about. And that’d just get confusing. And anyway. I already fulfilled my 5 for this fortnight. So I can focus on my three B5_love slots for now!
I so love the idea of Sinclair *trying* to prevent people from worshipping him when he already knows that it's in vain... :D
And well, I do have way too many thoughts on how faith is a very dangerous slippery slope for Delenn (and Lennier with her). And how eventually her faith's not nearly as strong as it used to be anymore. But we might get to this eventually. I do have three days claimed. :D
OH BOY I await all of them with bated breath :D \o/ these are fantastic thoughts and ideas and I'm really excited to hear you expound them more!
I’m really not sure I should do this. Knowing me as I do, it’d probably end up more along the lines of “why Delenn’s friendship with Lennier was doooomed” whine.
Are you SURE you don’t want to claim another day or two to talk about your meta thoughts? I’m looking forward to what Alexcat comes up with. But I’d really like to see more of your thoughts, too. You could talk about Sinclair. Or Neroon. Or their relationship. Or Neroon with the various characters he interacts with. Or you could tell me more about Zathras. That would be awesome! --- Of course you could also write some more drabbles, first. <333
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Date: 2019-02-03 03:35 pm (UTC)Half of me wonders why Delenn didn't let them appoint her as Chosen One to then declare "and now I'm heading back to Babylon 5, anyone's got comments try me..."
YOU KNOW.... that's a really good point. Because while Dukhat apparently remained in space with the nine, Jenimer didn't (which is why he pops up so much in the novel) - in fact Jenimer goes on record saying he intends to remain on planet and will stay in the 'Palace of the Chosen One':
And in all that time, thought Sinclair, almost fourteen Earth years, the Grey Council had ruled Minbar and conducted a highly successful war against Earth without anyone occupying the office of Chosen One. That might seem to indicate that the so-called Minbari leader was only a titular head of government without power, not unlike kings and queens had become on Earth by the twentieth century. Except that Dukhat had clearly been a powerful figure, the unquestioned leader of Minbar. Jenimer's position was not as clear.
"I thought Dukhat remained in space with the Grey Council on their warship," Sinclair said, "that he spent little, if any time here."
"True," Rathenn said. "But his presence was always here."
"What about Jenimer? Will he leave to travel with the Grey Council?"
"The Chosen One has indicated he will remain here, at the palace." -- (from the book)
So really, what's so wrong with Delenn staying on Bab 5 but also being Chosen One! But this book was written long after S1, so maybe Chosen One having to stay on the Grey Council ship got retconned. Or maybe it was just a convenient way to get Jenimer into the novel, or they were lenient about it because Jenimer wasn't well, etc. And you're right that the fact that she was so long Dukhat's protege might well have influenced the way the rest of the Council perceived her. Like yeah she would've been brand new technically but she was under the head honcho's wing for so long that she's really got enough experience, and maybe her being the Chosen One (not Satai) would've been Dukhat's ultimate goal anyway. I'm sure after 10+ years being Dukhat's aide, she would've had the most contact with him professionally, and they would've seen her vote as not just her own thoughts but also Dukhat's. Man I really want more Delenn and Dukhat moments!
Are you SURE you don't want to claim another day or two to talk about your meta thoughts?
I... I MIGHT.... the other meta thoughts are like. almost finished, too. I MIGHT HAVE TO! I also am excited for what other people are gonna do, so I don't want to take up a space that someone else could take, but on the other hand there is nothing stopping us from having >1 entry per day if all days are already covered at least once, right? :D and the more the merrier!
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Date: 2019-02-03 05:32 pm (UTC)They did retcon it in B5. "If I enter the great hall I will never leave it again." (1.20) - But this is Delenn. Who was trained by Dukhat. Who has *shown* us that he's perfectly capable of leaving. And Delenn excels at saying and doing whatever she assumes is the right thing at the time. So it really makes little sense. - I get that they wanted to make a fuss about this. Use it as the first step to upset the Council with the Chrysalis change being the second. And once she had been Mistress of the Grey Council it would've been impossible for the Grey Council to overrule her. But it still strikes me as odd for Delenn to not go "sure I'll be your leader, and now let me break it to you... I'll lead you from Babylon 5".
Also "I could override their decision, but nothing would be served. Authority should never be used as a club." -Dukhat, 4.09 Atonement --- So good luck with getting rid of Delenn as Mistress of the Grey Council because she did the Chrysalis thing if the Chosen One can overrule Council Decisions...
- That makes sense. But they must know Dukhat wouldn't have lashed out without calling for meditations on the issue a couple of times. He's furious about the open gun ports. And while he says that in his anger he alienated her from the Council and will have to train her himself now, he later admits that he picked her out on purpose due to her heritage.
(Which of course brings me back to... how did Delenn see the Triluminary glow when she was introduced to the Council and hear Dukhat talk about her heritage, but failed to make the connection when the Triluminary glowing meant that Sinclair must be related to Valen somehow? You cannot tell me that Delenn forgot either of those events... that happened shortly before Dukhat died, that's basically his last words to her in person rather than via that message anyone might've received if they'd entered the Sanctuary. And Delenn's a particularly curious Minbari.)
I do really want more Dukhat-Delenn moments, too! It's a shame we got so few of them. :(
I... I MIGHT.... the other meta thoughts are like. almost finished, too. I MIGHT HAVE TO! I also am excited for what other people are gonna do, so I don't want to take up a space that someone else could take, but on the other hand there is nothing stopping us from having >1 entry per day if all days are already covered at least once, right? :D and the more the merrier!
I had similar doubts and almost didn't claim more days. But there are still eight unclaimed spot left now and the month's already begun. If anyone wants a slot or more slots they can claim some of the other unclaimed ones? - Oh and you're cordially invited to add entries to any of my days, too. I'm happy to share my days. :D
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Date: 2019-02-04 05:42 pm (UTC)(That Triluminary, man.... it just does everything. Freezes guards, exposes souls, identifies souls, changes your DNA... an all-purpose MacGuffin)
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Date: 2019-02-04 06:22 pm (UTC)It's a fantastic device. Of course part of me will forever wish Delenn hadn't undergone the Chriysalis change. And then part of me wishes she'd kept the scales. But of course she is fierce and brilliant and beautiful no matter what she does. <3
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Date: 2019-02-04 03:44 pm (UTC)Sinclair was such a great character. And so was Neroon!
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Date: 2019-02-04 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-07 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-08 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-13 08:02 am (UTC)And man, poor Jeff with the toxic ritual drink! Canon h/c right there. Awww.
I also love your discussion with
<3
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Date: 2019-02-13 09:05 pm (UTC)Ahaha, it's possible he didn't mean to set out and troll everybody like that! And the poor guy trolls himself if he reads all or even any of Valen's prophecies while on Minbar. Now the pressure is really on to replicate exactly those words! Better not to have read a thing, and write the prophecies secure in the knowledge he's gonna get them right out of tautology. Little late after the fact though. That said! I guess the prophecies have to be so vague - otherwise people might try and avoid them, and that feels like it could mess with causality, even though that doesn't make sense in a closed time loop. But imagine the Religious Caste having to read stuff like, "And then you magically pick this specific guy to come onboard your cruiser during the war that you'll have during precisely these dates because of precisely this cause (and no you can't get out of it so don't even try)..." The ambiguous pseudo-Nostradamus stuff seems easier to swallow :'D