Day 8: Fic 2: The Truth Incarnate
Aug. 8th, 2007 04:41 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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The Truth Incarnate
Set between ‘Objects at Rest’ and ‘Sleeping in Light’, eleven years after the founding of the Interstellar
Some Minbari phrases and titles from the Earth-Minbari dictionary, assembled by John Hightower.
Part IV
As she approached the town, she noticed there were more people out on the streets. Mostly they seemed to be hurrying home. It must be about dinner time, she thought, and shivered. The wind had both grown colder and picked up in strength. She huddled into her parka, and strode quickly back towards the house, trying not to notice the furtive looks and occasional outright stares from the townsfolk.
After she greeted Ranneth and Lennier, they all shared a simple meal. The conversation was subdued, with Ranneth and Susan carrying most of the social burden. Lennier was distracted and unresponsive, lost in his own regrets. After they had cleared away the dishes and straightened the kitchen, he asked to be excused and retired to his room. Susan watched him go with some concern, turned to Ranneth, and asked, “How did it go today?”
Ranneth was silent for a moment. “It was difficult. It always is when there is separation of spirit. Lennier had to hear some hard words today. He will meditate, and work through his feelings tonight, and be ready for the next stage tomorrow.” She thought for a moment, “Come sit by the fire, Anla’Shok Na. We should talk about the ceremony.”
“Please call me Susan, Ranneth. I am here as Lennier’s friend, not as Ranger One.”
“Susan, then,” Ranneth replied. “It pleases me that Lennier has a friend. He was always such a solitary child. Very intelligent and curious, but he always seemed to be holding something back. Perhaps it was his upbringing. His mother died when he was born, and it broke his father’s heart. He sent the boy away as soon as possible to be raised in temple.”
“I am sorry to hear that. You know, I never knew how he was picked to be Delenn’s aide on
“Oh, no. Nothing is done on Minbar randomly,” Ranneth chuckled. “It is something you must have noticed by now! Sometimes I think our society would benefit from some chaos. Shake people up a bit, get them to look at things differently.”
Susan laughed, “Yes, it’s a major adjustment coming here to work. Humans are a disorderly bunch compared to you—even we military types who are used to a command structure.”
“Most of our people fear change. They also fear and dislike strangers. Delenn and Lennier are alike in that they both delight in diversity. It’s an unusual trait among our people.”
“You sound like you know Delenn as well?”
“Yes, my sister, Lennier’s mother, and I are distant relatives to the family Mir. I was much older than my sister, and was already inducted into the temple when she was born. I saw my sister and my family mostly at clan gatherings. Delenn’s father brought her to the larger ones. She was an adorable child, so solemn on the surface, but her sense of humor would keep bubbling up. Later, I was assigned to the temple school where she boarded. Our paths did not cross often, but everyone there heard tales of ‘Valen’s child’ as she was known.”
“So how did she pick Lennier? Or was he assigned to her?”
“After her father died, it became important to her to keep track of even distant family members. She was looking for an aide, someone unafraid to travel, to interact with different species, and someone trained in the defensive arts. Lennier’s name was on a list given to her, and she recognized his name as being ‘family’, if distant. I always thought she was probably a bit lonely out there, didn’t you?”
“I never thought about it.” Susan shifted uncomfortably. “She always seeemed so self-possessed. I didn’t know her very well at first, but after her transformation we became friendly to a degree. She was disoriented just afterwards, but seemed to recover quickly enough. Then, during the war, we fought together. That creates a bond, you know. Sometimes I wonder at how easily she fit into our group. I mean, I even left the station in her charge when I left to lead the fleet in the liberation of Earth. No one questioned her right or ability to command. Of course, she had proven herself over and over again by then. As had Lennier, by the way.”
“We were quite proud of what we heard of him during the war.” She looked sharply at Susan, “But what of afterwards? I heard only rumours. His father was told, but would never discuss it, even at the end.”
“I’m not sure that is my story to tell, Ranneth. Lennier and I have never talked about it. What I know, I learned directly from John.”
Ranneth leaned forward to add a log to the fire. As she turned back, she said, “I would not ask if it was not important. It has come up during the ceremony. There are those that wish him to confirm or deny what they have heard. They imply it will ease his mind, and erase the barrier between his father’s spirit and his own.” She laughed, bitterly, “I think they are agog with vulgar curiosity, and looking for a scandal. If I knew more, I might be able to protect Lennier somewhat. “
She continued speaking, sounding as if she was back in temple teaching a class. “In cases where a Minbari dies apart in spirit from his blood kin, his spirit might not find its way back to the Universe for rebirth. It is ‘held’ here, in a way, by those who cannot let go. The Zann’cha’ri is vital in these cases. The Ceremony of Loss and Release includes a rite of reconciliation. I can speak as Lennier’s nearest family that I have accepted him back in our clan. But even though I cared for his father in his last years, and performed the annual rites on the anniversary of his passing, I am not able to speak for his father’s clan. I performed this service in memory of my sister, and in the absence of my nephew, but I am not one of them. And so we are bound by our traditions, often to our detriment.”
Susan was aghast. “So if the clan members don’t recognize Lennier’s reconciliation with his father’s spirit, the spirit is trapped here? No rebirth, and all Lennier’s fault….Ranneth, can I speak for him? I can’t reveal what happened; it’s not my secret. I can testify to his acceptance by myself, by Delenn and John, and by the Anla’Shok.”
Ranneth nodded, “I had hoped you would be willing. I do not know if they will accept your words, but I cannot believe they would act counter to the decision of Delenn.”
Susan nodded, “It’s not a problem. You know, I wonder if Delenn forsaw any of this. I know she was behind John’s ordering me to come along on this trip. It would be like her. She’s the best person I know at manipulating things so they go her way. At least she uses her power for good!”
Laughing, Ranneth replied, “She was just as adept as a child. You can imagine the havoc she wrought in temple. Her instructors would throw their hands up and give in to her wishes every time! And she was so charming about it, that no one held it against her. Not at that time anyway. She has accumulated enemies as all who follow a vision do, and she has paid a price.”
Susan looked somber for a moment. Ranneth had no idea of the price both Delenn and John had already paid. And the price, that in a few short years, Delenn would continue to pay for the rest of her life. A thought occurred to her, “What do the Minbari think about cryopreservation? I know Minbari allow extensions of the mourning period in these cases, but how was that decided on?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know, just wondering…”
“Well,” replied Ranneth slowly, “No offence to your people, but many Minbari see this type of preservation as an abomination, an interference with the natural order of the Universe. There are those who accept the technology, but even they set limits on its use, and certainly on its duration. After three years in preservation, corresponding to the traditional three years of mourning, the Zann’cha’ri is normally held. It is possible to apply to the clan elders for two extensions of three years each. Reasons must be given. Perhaps the one being preserved was suffering from an illness where a treatment is being developed. Certainly it is a boon to those who suffer wounds in battle, or on outlying colony worlds, where medical treatment for their injury is unavailable. But that is short term, and not the focus of your questions, I believe?”
“No,” replied Susan, “No, it’s not. You see, I have a friend in cryo-sleep, here on Minbar. He was a good friend, and he suffered his injury helping me. I feel I owe him…something. He deserved better, damn it! And it there’s a chance in hell of reviving him, I feel I have to take it!”
“But is there a ‘chance in hell’, as you say?”
“I can’t be sure! I’m not even sure what he would have wanted…or why he did what he did. He was a good man, Ranneth, that has to count for something.”
Ranneth sat quietly for a moment, observing the human female sitting across from her. So much passion for life these humans had! It was no wonder they were accomplished warriors, and good lovers, or at least so she had heard. She was beginning to regard Susan as a friend, and did not like to see her in turmoil. But she did not know the story behind what she was hearing, and so hesitated for a moment before speaking. Susan got up and began pacing around the room, her hands clasped behind her back. “I just don’t know what to do…what’s right.”
Ranneth sighed, “I will tell you something I once told the child Delenn when she was at the temple school. She asked me whether she should do something…I can’t remember what now, something she had been forbidden to do, no doubt. I told her, ‘You can never go wrong following your heart. Listen to it, and if you hear truly, and follow its dictates, you will feel no regrets. Mistakes are only made when you do not listen properly.’ She listened soberly, then smiled up at me wickedly and asked, ‘What if my heart tells me to laugh and skip in temple?’ I told her that laughter was a form of prayer, and if she did not feel joy in temple, she had no business in the religious caste. My answer surprised her, but as she considered it she became thoughtful. Such a strange child she was…”
“Marcus made me laugh…he drove me crazy, but he could make me laugh.”
Ranneth rose and placed her hand on Susan’s arm, “Several times you have referred to this man in the past tense, my friend. Perhaps your heart is speaking to you even now. I will retire, so you may better hear it. Stay by the fire awhile. We Minbari believe flame is a reflection of the light that fills each life. Sometimes candles, and fires, go out. But the light of the Universe is always there, and we will all join with it in time.”
Part V
The next morning they left early for temple. Susan had brought Valen’s robe as her formal attire for the ceremony. She was glad now; it always gave her confidence to wear it, and she felt she would need all her confidence to stand up and speak at the ceremony. Besides, it reminded her of her old commander, now gone for many years. Gone into the past, lost to her and all his friends…only a memory, but still alive to them for all the years gone by. She was seated at the front, in a row of seats just behind Lennier, and beside Ranneth. The temple was simple, but beautiful. The stone walls were carved with geometric shapes, and slender arches reached up to a peaked roof. The windows were sheets of thin crystal, through which a bright but diffuse light poured through. A few of the windows had inset faceted crystals, which focused light beams on various items along the walls; a delicate pyramid of blown glass, with ribbons of pink and purple twining inside, a small stone basin, with water trickling gently in and overflowing to be caught in a trough below, a crystal vase filled with flowers that resembled small white lilies. It was beautiful and familiar and alien, all at once. She settled onto the small white cushion which was the only concession to the chill of the stone pew, exchanged a glance with Ranneth, and began to listen intently.
The rituals were somewhat familiar, although the participants were speaking a version of Adronato that was just different enough for her to miss some words every few sentences. She wondered if it was an accent or a dialect, or perhaps some archaic version of the language used only in religious ceremonies. It seemed as if they were bearing witness to Lennier’s father’s life, describing incidents in which he was involved, reciting memories from their mutual pasts. So far, it was similar to the ceremonies she’d attended previously. Someone would stand and speak, then there would be a brief meditation on what they had said. After that another person would arise to the sounds of small bells shaken by acolytes standing along the side walls. Occasionally someone would go to the front of the temple and speak from a raised dais. She thought they must be clan elders, or VIPs of some sort. A few of them addressed Lennier directly, some with sorrow, some with barely disguised contempt, still more with questions in their voice. Although she couldn’t see his face, her friend sat motionless, staring straight ahead, and not responding to the questions or the contempt. He bowed his head slightly to a few people, but very few, and mostly to those that spoke with sincere sorrow in their voice. Finally three older Minbari rose and went up front. They spoke clearly, and she could understand their words, although she wished she couldn’t.
“We do not believe your father was reconciled to you in spirit, Lennier. And you have given us no reason to believe that he would do so now. We are sorry, but we cannot release his soul….”
Ranneth looked at Susan and gave a slight nod. She rose, and in her best ‘Ivanova is God’ voice, said “I wish to speak.”
The three elders were taken aback, but when they saw Valen’s robe, and her Ranger pin, they moved aside. Susan strode to the front of the room, and climbed the three low steps to the top of the raised platform.
“I am Susan Ivanova, Anla’Shok Na. I am the daughter of Andrei and Sophie Ivanov, and I am a Ranger. I am human warrior caste, but I gave up allegiance to caste and clan when I joined the Anla’Shok. I gave my oath to the One; to Entil’zha John Sheridan, to President Delenn, and to the Interstellar Alliance. I am here to speak for Lennier.” She cleared her throat and began again. “Eleven years ago, Anla’Shok Lennier made a grave error in judgement. He failed in his oath to the Rangers, and he failed in his service to Delenn and then President Sheridan. No one denies this. After this incident he left the Anla’Shok. He needed to accept his own failure, and find his own path to redemption.”
She paused and looked around the room, the continued with emphasis, “He found his way back. I speak for myself, for President Delenn, for Entil’zha Sheridan, and for the Anla’Shok in this. With no hesitation and with no doubt, we have accepted his return to service, and we have welcomed his return as comrade in arms. I speak the truth in this.”
She hesitated, then began again, “I speak also as a personal friend. I am not Minbari, and cannot hope to fully understand your ways, but I wish to testify to the deep friendship and affection between myself and Lennier. We have fought together, and shared both joy and pain. He has never failed me personally, and it is my belief he never will.”
As she returned to her seat, the three elders held a whispered consultation. Ranneth touched her arm, and looked at her in gratitude. The elders returned to the dais, and declared, “In view of the decision of Entil’zha Sheridan and the Blessed Delenn to forgive our clan member Lennier, we must also conclude that his father and he would have reconciled if the Universe had given them time to do so. We declare his soul released. May it find its way to the Light, and come back to us another day.” With that, they left the temple, with acolytes ringing bells walking before and after them. Most of the other people left as well, although a few remained to speak with Lennier and Ranneth. Susan stood to one side; it was not her family, after all. Lennier gave his arm to Ranneth, escorting her down the main aisle. He paused in front of Susan and said simply, “Thank you,” before proceeding. Susan was struck by the look of intense gratitude in his eyes, but she also felt a little forlorn, as if she had expected something more. She trailed behind the two Minbari, more than a little confused by her turbulent emotions.
The next morning Susan was packed and ready to go quite early. Lennier, however, had to help Ranneth sort some of his father’s belongings which would then be taken to storage in the clan house adjacent to the temple. His aunt planned to stay just long enough to close down the family house, then she would return to her position in the main teaching temple in Tuzanoor. Susan was ill at ease and out of sorts by the noon meal, and confronted Lennier afterwards, demanding to know when they would be able to leave. He calmly replied he would be ready within the hour, and asked her forgiveness for taking so long. She felt abashed by his patient forebearance, and went outside to check over the flyer one more time.
Once they had bid Ranneth farewell, and gotten underway, Lennier put the flyer on autopilot and entered the rear of the craft, where Susan was trying to read. He sat down across from her, and said, “Thank you was all I could think to say. I’m not eloquent like Delenn, but I hope you know it was sincerely meant.”
“The sincerity was clear. And it’s possible to use too many words. I hope I didn’t. Though it did seem to do the trick.”
“Yes, it did at that,” he said with a smile. “I hope the trip was useful to you. What did you think of my home?”
“I liked your aunt. I hope I can see more of her once she’s back in town. You guys aren’t secluded in temple, or anything, are you?”
“No, we are not a closed order. Besides, she teaches at the temple academy. Teachers must be open to the outside world, or they would not be effective.”
Conversation lagged for a moment, then they both spoke at once. “I wanted to ask you something…” said Susan, while “I hope you found the trip restful…” said Lennier.
“You first,” said Lennier, settling back in the chair, steepling his fingers into the familiar triangular position in front of him.
“I wanted to ask you a favor,” Susan said, “I wanted to ask you,” she hesitated, then stumbling over the words, rushed out, “I wanted to ask you to attend Marcus’ Ceremony of Release.” She added, with a quaver in her voice, “I think we should hold it as soon as possible after we get back.”
Lennier closed his eyes, and sighed, “Are you sure, Susan? He would want this to be right for you.”
“I’m not sure what I want, or what he would want. But it’s right, and it’s time.”
“I would be honored. Thank you for asking. Are there any other Rangers on Minbar who served with Marcus, and would wish to be invited?”
“There are precious few of us left who even knew Marcus. But I should give Stephen a chance to come, if he wants,” she said reflectively.
“Yes, perhaps a week or two of preparation would be good. I can see to it if you like.”
“Thanks, Lennier,” began Susan, when suddenly the flyer began to tilt and shake. Lennier vaulted into the pilot’s seat and yelled back at Susan, “Hang on!”
The flyer veered from side to side, throwing Susan out of her seat onto the floor. Lennier’s hands flew over the controls as the ship slowed, shaking, then dropped to the ground with a thump. He shut the engine off, then turned to see Susan lying still, blood smeared across one temple where she had hit the side of the ship in the hard landing. His heart gave a lurch, as he called her name, and clambered into the back. He ran his hands over her body, checking for broken bones before attempting to lift her back into a seat. She groaned softly and her eyes flickered open as she swam back to consciousness. She realized abruptly that Lennier was cradling her in his arms, and snapped fully awake.
“What…what happened?” she asked, still shaken by the accident. Lennier laid her down on the bench seat, and reached underneath to pull out a first aid kit. “Stay still. I have to check that head wound before you move around any more.” He pulled out a scanner, made a few adjustments, then ran it up and down her body, concentrating on the skull. “Thank Valen. It’s just a surface wound, no fracture. You still might have a concussion; this scanner is not fully adjustable to human physiology. The rest is bruises and cuts. I’ll clean and cover up that head injury, then see what I can do with the flyer.” As he spoke he was cleaning off the blood, and applying a bandage. “Rest now. I’ll be right back.” With that he rose and picking up a tool kit, also stored under the bench, left the flyer by the side door.
Susan laid there a moment, disconcerted by the sudden change in events, and starting to feel the throbbing in her temple, as well as the pain from several small cuts on her face. One of the crystal panels separating the flyer’s front and back compartments had shattered, and the shards lay on the floor. Those had obviously caused the cuts. She struggled upright, but lay back down immediately as her headache strengthened and her head swam with the pain. Lennier had forgotten more about Minbari flyers than she had ever known, and was practical enough to call if he needed her help.
She started as the door blew open, and Lennier entered. His face was smudged and dirty, his sleeve ripped. He pulled the door closed, and said, “There’s a storm headed our way. I’ve made some repairs; I think it’ll get us to the next travelers’ rest. It’s only a few miles. We’ll have to stop there until we can get someone out to pick us up. The com system in the flyer isn’t working. The rests have emergency communications, and we have our links. If the storm is bad, they may not make it to us until morning.” As he spoke, he was settling in the pilot’s chair, and moving his hands over the controls. The flyer shuddered, then rose slowly into the air, and with a series of fits and starts, moved forward. Lennier spoke over his shoulder, “Just lie still, we’ll be there within half an hour at this speed. It is fortunate the navigation and locator system weren’t damaged.”
Part VI
Susan woke to someone shaking her shoulders. “Wake up, we’re here. We need to get you inside. Can you walk?” She nodded groggily, then as she got up from the bench, she stumbled and leaned heavily against the Minbari. He helped her out of the flyer, and then up the low steps into the travelers’ rest. He half-carried her to the couch in the living area, then pulled out blankets from a chest in the sleeping area, and made a pillow for her head, gently lowered her down, then laid another blanket over her. “I will go start the heaters. Once I contact Tuzanoor, I’ll make us something to eat.” She nodded, then lay back and closed her eyes again.
When she woke again, the heaters had warmed the room, and in addition, a fire was blazing on the hearth. Lennier was laying a tray on the low table in front of the couch. “It’s time to eat. The Anla’Shok will get here as quickly as they can. It depends on the storm, but we will have at minimum a few hours to wait. At least they know where we are, and that we are safe.”
Susan sat up unaided, and said, “I hope you have something for this headache. It’s better, but that’s not saying much. What’s to eat?”
“The rests don’t stock much variety. There are dried fruits, flatbreads, dried cheeses. I heated some soup and made tea.”
“A feast! Of course anything counts as a feast when I don’t have to cook.” She leaned forward, squinting in pain, and reached for a cup of the tea. Her hand was shaking, but she managed to swallow some. “Did you find any medication for this headache?”
“You’re drinking it. The Ranger physician I spoke with didn’t recommend we try any other Minbari remedies with your physiology. They will bring better scanners and medical equipment on the transport.”
They settled to their meal in companionable silence. When they were finished, Susan leaned back against the cushions while Lennier cleaned away the plates and bowls, and then refilled their cups with tea. He then said, “I would like to perform a small ceremony. Would you mind being a witness? It won’t take long, and you do not have to participate unless you wish to.”
“What kind of ceremony?” Susan asked curiously. “Do you have what you need for it?”
“These havens are maintained and provisioned by a clan of the religious caste. Besides food, water, linens, and fuel, they also provide a small selection of ceremonial paraphenalia.” As he spoke, he reached into a drawer built into the wall under a small alcove, pulling out a small hammered silver bowl, candles, a firestarter, and several crystal prisms. He started to lay out the materials for the ceremony; the bowl in the center, with three candles and three prisms interspersed around it. He then replied, without looking directly at Susan, “It’s a variant of the ceremony we just attended. There are many varieties of loss, and many types of release. For instance, there is a derivative ceremony when a child reaches adulthood—the parents ‘lose’ their child, and must release him or her into adult life. This one is similar to the Na’fak’cha, a loss and a rebirth into new possibilities. Many of our ceremonies are inter-related.”
Susan nodded, “I think I understand. What are you losing or releasing?”
He swallowed hard, and looked her in the eye, “Your example has inspired me to let go of my feelings for Delenn. I have carried the burden of this love for too long. I cannot be the friend she deserves until I let go of the love she does not desire.”
Susan took his hand, and said “I understand. Believe me, I do. I’ve been in more one-sided disastrous relationships than I care to remember. Let it go. She’s been a good friend to me, and I’d like to see her with some more support. She’s gonna need it.”
“I know,” he agreed sadly. “She has chosen a hard path, with much joy now, but much more pain to come.”
“So what do I have to do?”
“Just watch. Be a witness. We believe if our promises are witnessed, we are more likely to keep them. I believe it is the same among your people.”
Susan laughed, “Yes, I believe it is. Go ahead. I will be your witness.”
Lennier sat beside her on the couch, lit the candles, and began the meditation. After a period of inward reflection, he removed a small crystal case from an inner pocket of his jacket. As Susan watched with interest, he removed a small lock of hair, a short curl of chestnut. She inhaled sharply as she recognized the color and realized what it must be. I wonder how long he’s had that, she thought to herself. He placed the hair in the silver bowl, and after closing his eyes briefly in prayer, picked up the firestarter, and set it afire. It blazed briefly, then filled the air with the distinctive scent of burning hair. When the flame died out, he blew out the candles and said, “It is done.”
Susan remained silent. She wasn’t sure what to say. She was glad he had been able to do this, but was aware it must have been a painful decision. Much like her own decision, she mused. They were both letting go of dreams, in order to more fully live their lives.
“Lennier,” she said reflectively, “Did you ever read anything by the Earth author Tolstoy? He was a favorite of my father’s.”
“I do not believe so. Delenn is fond of your Shakespeare, I know, but I am unfamilar with Tolstoy. What did he write about?”
“The human condition, much like Shakespeare. He lived much later in history though, in my country
“Are these questions anything like the questions of the Vorlons and the Shadows?”
“You know, I was reminded of the story as we orbited Coriana 6 that day. The three questions Tolstoy asked were: ‘What is the most important time? Who is the most important person? What is the most important thing to do?’”
Lennier thought for a moment. “This man seems like a philosopher more than a storyteller, Susan.”
She laughed, “All Russians are philosophers, especially the storytellers. Do you want to know the answers?”
“Yes,” replied Lennier, “Yes, I do.”
Susan began to recite from memory, “The most important time is now, because it is the only time when we have any power to act. The most important person is always the one you are with, because he may be the last you see. And the most important thing to do, is to do good for that person, for that is the reason we are sent into this life.”
Lennier looked at Susan’s face, which was uncharacteristically open and vulnerable as she gazed into the flames. He knew how hard it had been for her to decide to let go of Marcus. She is so brave, he thought, and so beautiful. He reached out slowly and took hold of her chin to turn her face towards his. He put one hand over his own heart, then reached out to place an open palm over her own. He could feel her heart beating, fast and strong. As they gazed into each other’s eyes, their faces illuminated by the firelight, Susan hesitantly reached out to place her hand on Lennier’s chest. The silence between them deepened, until the only sound was of two hearts beating, faster and faster. They leaned slightly towards each other; their eyes suddenly open to new, unexpected possibilities.
Then, from outside, they heard the sound of a landing flyer. They reluctantly drew apart, and Lennier rose to open the door to their rescuers. As the room filled with concerned Rangers and physicians, they were separated physically. But the strands that had been woven between them remained. Their eyes met across the room, and they shared a small secret smile. Both of them recognized their new bond, and both wondered where this journey might lead.
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Date: 2007-08-08 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 01:28 am (UTC)