Day 8: Fic 3: Jagged Hearts
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madrona and nolivingman for beta-reading Too Sharp a Sun, and even more thanks to nolivingman for slogging through Truth Incarnate and Jagged Hearts, and their many revisions. Jagged Hearts
Thanks to Tim and Summer of the Babylon Podcast for asking the question, “Whatever happened to the Centauri Royal Telepaths?”
Part 7
John and Lennier had split the areas to search between them. Neither was quite sure what they would do if and when they found the bomb. Disarm it, if it looked possible. Move it to a safer location, if there was enough time. Jettison it, if they could. Neither were experts in explosive devices, and both were worried about failsafes such as motion activation. Not to mention just identifying the thing might prove difficult.
“So, John,” Lennier began hesitantly, “You have handled and identified explosive devices in the past?”
John nodded wearily, “Well, the one I found on the shuttle conveniently had numbers counting down like a cartoon bomb. The only thing it lacked was a fuse and an ominous ticking sound.”
Lennier just looked at him, confused, “So, we don’t look for any of those things?”
“No, I don’t think so,” John grinned at him this time, “No timer, so no numbers. Probably just something out of place…if he thought to disguise it as a piece of engine room equipment, we’ll never find the thing. Maybe the others will have better luck smoking out our bad guy.”
“Or maybe they won’t, and we’ll all die,” replied Lennier gloomily.
John laughed, “You and Susan are well-suited, after all! Both pessimists at heart!”
“Suited?” Lennier asked, almost stuttering in his embarrassment.
“Oh God, I’m sorry. I guess I’ve put my foot in it.” John said uncomfortably. “I thought I’d seen some signs of something…personal, between the two of you. It doesn’t bother me, you know. Anything that makes Susan happy is okay with me.”
“That is the question, is it not? Whether I can make her happy?”
“That’s sort of up to her, isn’t it? All you can do is make the offer, and show her how you feel.”
“I guess,” Lennier said despondently, “It does not seem that straight forward in reality.”
“It never does,” mused John sympathetically. “I had it easy with Delenn making a lot of the first moves. Susan won’t do that, I think. She’s been hurt too often in the past. You’ll have to go first.”
“I think you are right, but it is still difficult.”
“You’ve done difficult things before,” John hesitated, and went on, “Susan told me a little about your ceremony, you know, letting go of old feelings…” his voice trailed off.
“Yes, well.” Lennier looked terrifically embarrassed, and John intensely regretted bringing up the subject. Then the Minbari continued, “I would appreciate it if you did not mention that ceremony to Delenn. I am obligated to tell her about it, and have not done that as of yet. She might take it amiss coming from someone else.”
“Part of the ritual?” John guessed.
Lennier nodded, and changed the subject. “Here we are. I’ll take these three areas, you check out these,” he said, pointing at circles on the printout. “Remember, internal communication systems do not work very well down here. Our personal links will only connect intermittently Perhaps we should check back at regular intervals?”
“Good idea, how about every half an hour? Right here by the lift? The main com here will let us check in with the others.”
Lennier bowed deeply to John, and said “I will see you when I see you,” and left.
John had to smile at his use of Susan’s normal phrasing. She was already under his skin, apparently. He hoped they would have time to work things out. Soberly, he reflected he hoped they would all have more time, and set off on his mission to help ensure that they would.
He went to the first area, near one of the gravitic propulsion systems. An explosion near any one of these would tear the ship apart. He methodically searched the area for anything that looked to be clamped on, or stuck behind, or attached where it shouldn’t be. The liner was Minbari/Vorlon hybrid tech, and neither of those races were inclined to jury-rig equipment. Everything that belonged tended to look as if it had grown there. There still wasn’t much to go on, they had no ideas as to size, shape, composition of the explosive…but they had to try. If Susan and Delenn could identify the traitor, they could work on getting him to talk, as well as free the other Rangers on board of suspicion so they could help in the search.
After about twenty five minutes, he heard a noise approaching. He was just coming out from under a counter, saying, “Lennier? Is that you?”, when he felt a tremendous blow to the back of his head. His last thought before losing consciousness was of his wife.
Lennier had arrived at the meeting place a few minutes early, so he wasn’t worried that John had not yet arrived. With any luck he had found something, and the gnawing worry he felt about Susan could be alleviated. He found it interesting that his worry focused on the human woman…and how things had changed in the past year. As the minutes ticked by, Lennier became concerned. Perhaps John needed help with what he had found. He had his map, and after checking the chronometer once more, decided to go in search of his ally.
As he approached the first area marked on the map, he heard a noise. Someone was coming, and quickly. Some impulse born of his years on the run caused him to flatten himself against the wall in the shadows. A Minbari Ranger ran by. Lennier paused for just an instant. It was possible John was hurt, or Valen forbid, killed, but if this was the traitor he could lead him to the bomb. Hoping Delenn would forgive him if he was leaving John in trouble, he decided to follow the Ranger.
As Lennier started following Lashon, the others were just reaching the level of the engine rooms. They split up to cover as much area as possible; Susan heading aft towards the control room for the jump engines, Stephen and Delenn towards the more forward areas where the main propulsion engines were located. They hadn’t gone far when Stephen practically stumbled over John’s prostrate body. His hair was matted with blood, and Stephen probed gently to see if the skull was fractured. He couldn’t feel any movement of the bone, so he turned him over and yelled, “Delenn! Over here!” She came at a dead run, but stopped abruptly at the sight.
“Is he…Stephen, is he…?” her voice trembled.
“He’s alive, but it’s a pretty nasty knock. Might have been a denn’bok, probably Lashon got here first.” He was busily taking out a scanner from one pocket, and making a pillow out of his jacket for John’s head. “I don’t think his skull’s fractured…look, he’s coming around.”
Delenn had knelt by John’s side, and taken his hand. As his eyelids fluttered, she laid one small hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes, and smiled weakly up at her. “I’m still here. What’s going on?” As he spoke he struggled to a sitting position. Stephen protested, but he waved him off. “Where’s Lennier? Where’s Susan?”
Just then an explosion rocked the room. It seemed to come from the rear section of the ship, towards the jump engines. As smoke filled the air, alarms sounded warning of a possible hull breach. Stephen and Delenn helped John to his feet, and they all three headed towards the sound of the explosion. Blast doors closed behind them, sealing them off in the aft section.
Part 8
Lennier followed quietly behind Lashon, staying out of sight, but careful not to lose him. The Ranger knelt beside a panel, just behind of the main jump engine control boards, and removed it swiftly. Inside was a round flat silver device, clamped onto the crystal circuitry behind the control board. Lashon reached in, presumably to activate the bomb,
when Lennier jumped him from behind. They struggled, tangled in the Ranger’s cloak, and both fell to the ground. Lennier pulled out his plasma weapon, but Lashon quickly extended his denn’bok, and knocked the gun from his enemy’s hand. Then he aimed a stunning blow at Lennier, who turned quickly and took the brunt of it on his headbone.
Lennier’s head was ringing, but he was still functional, and he took up a fighting stance, trying to stay between Lashon and the bomb. Lashon feinted a few times with the denn’bok, then surprised Lennier by diving for the discarded gun. He grabbed it, rolled around to face Lennier, and squeezed the trigger. Lennier felt a burning pain in his side, and fell heavily to the ground, gasping in pain. Lashon smiled grimly, and turned back to the open panel, trying to get to the device. Lennier had fallen onto Lashon’s denn’bok, and grasping it tightly, he closed it, then struggling to one knee behind the Ranger, put it up against his head, and extended it full force. Lashon’s headbone cracked under the force of the blow, and he fell to the ground.
Lennier reached into the panel, and gently removed the bomb, which now had a red light pulsing rapidly around the circumference. He staggered towards the nearest escape hatch, barely getting it open as his hand, slippery with blood and sweat, had trouble gripping the emergency handle. He threw the device inside, slammed the door shut, and hit ‘eject.’ He fell to the ground as the world exploded around him.
Susan was frantically searching for Lashon, and for Lennier. The jump engines were housed in two large rooms, and she felt the pressure of time as she picked one to search. She tried to stay quiet, and listen for noises, but the engine noise drowned out any but the loudest sounds. She thought of trying to listen with her mind…but she didn’t know how to make that work. Frustrated, she stopped moving, and tried to think of Lennier and listen for his thoughts. What she heard sounded like PPG fire, shortly followed by a loud explosion. Then all hell broke loose as the alarms sounded, and the blast doors descended.
Susan rushed into the smoke-filled room, searching frantically for her friend.
"Lennier! Lennier, where are you!" She coughed, deep and hard, then pulled off her jacket and covered her mouth and nose. She felt her way around the walls, trying to focus through the smoke and mist and strobing red lights. The klaxons sounding made it hard to hear if anyone was answering her call. Then she stumbled over something soft, and looking down, saw the tan leather jacket Lennier had been wearing when everything went to hell. She dropped to one knee, and felt her way up his limp body to his head. Her hands came away bloody, "Oh damn," she muttered. She tried to lift the Minbari, but he was heavier than he looked. Susan noted abstractly that his slim frame was mostly muscle. Come on, Susan she said to herself, now is not the time! He started to stir, and she asked urgently, "Can you walk, Lennier? I can't carry you out by myself, and I don't know where everyone else is."
The Minbari nodded weakly, and Susan hoisted him to his feet, pulling one of his arms across her shoulders. They staggered back towards the open doorway, which was a blaze of light. As soon as they cleared the doorway, Susan lowered Lennier to the ground, and hit the door lock. She could hear some noises farther off, but there was still not anyone in this corridor. She tried to link in, but the link wasn't working, and she couldn't get a
signal through. Coughing and gasping for breath, she looked over her companion. He had an ugly wound in his side, but the bleeding was slowing. His head had a gash in it that looked painful. Removing her Ranger cloak, she gently wiped away what blood she could see, checking for other wounds. Then she wadded up the cloth and placed it under his head. She sighed, and sat down heavily beside him. They would be found soon, if only when someone came to investigate the alarm. She noticed Lennier's breathing was slowing, his face becoming even paler than before. She took hold of his arm and shook him hard, "Don't you die on me, Lennier! Do you hear me? I've had enough of people dying on me!" Her voice broke and caught in her throat as she went on, "Please don't go. Don't leave me…." Her vision blurred with tears, she felt rather than saw his hand reach up to grasp hers.
"I do not think I can go anywhere without assistance, Susan."
She smiled weakly as he struggled to a sitting position.
He gently touched her face, "You are crying," he said seriously. "Am I that badly hurt?"
"I don't know," she said with a sob. "I can't tell, I'm not a doctor."
"Well, just in case I am seriously injured," he continued, turning her face to his, "Before I die, I would like to do this, just once." He tilted his head and gently touched his lips to hers. She put her arms around him gently, pulling him in closer as her mouth opened under his.
Susan found the smoke and mist whirling around them almost as disorienting as Lennier’s embrace. Her world had exploded in more ways than one, and was re-forming under his hands. Lost in the feelings his touch brought forth, she wondered if she would be the same person if she survived. Maybe I should hold a Minbari rebirth ceremony, she thought, and started laughing through her tears, breaking the kiss that held them together. Lennier cocked his head to look at her, then began smiling himself, as he kissed her again, more gently this time, stroking her hair and muttering endearments in Adronato in between kisses.
As Stephen rounded the corner, he saw Susan and Lennier sitting on the floor, wrapped in each other’s arms. He sucked in his breath in surprise, and stopped short. Delenn and John were behind him, John still leaning on his wife for support, although his strength was coming back quickly. They stopped just behind Stephen, and looked beyond him to see what had caused him to pause.
John looked quickly at Delenn, and saw her eyes widen in shock; obviously this was not a pairing she had considered in her efforts to find Susan a mate. He smiled at her, but she responded with a look of pain and…betrayal? John heard banging at the outer doors, and realized the crew had located them, and were attempting to open the doors. Thank goodness, he thought, the hull breach must be a false alarm. Delenn muttered something about helping them, and fled towards the noise. John staggered at the sudden loss of support. He clutched the wall, not quite believing that Delenn had left him alone when he was injured.
Stephen had knelt by Lennier and was checking the wound on his side. “He’ll be okay,” he said to Susan, smiling widely in response to her expression of relief. She gave Lennier’s hand a squeeze, and got up and went over to John, who was still leaning heavily against the wall.
“You have a run in with someone?” she asked.
“Yeah, our renegade Ranger, at a guess. Where is he, anyway?” replied John.
“Lord, I forgot all about him! He must still be in there! I had to get Lennier out, and I guess…”
“You forgot?” John’s eyes were twinkling.
Susan blushed. “I’ll go check it out. Sounds like we’ll have company soon anyway. I’m pretty sure he was acting alone. Did Stephen or Delenn tell you about that thing on his shoulder?”
“No, no, they didn’t.” John looked thoughtful. “I have to catch up with Delenn. Tell Stephen I’ll check in with him later.” He left, still moving a bit cautiously, as he had the mother of all headaches. Several crew members came into view, and he sent them on to help Susan find the renegade, and help Stephen get Lennier back to the medical facilities. He hoped he would find Delenn in their quarters, as he really didn’t think he was up to searching the ship.
Part 9
As he approached their quarters, he grew more apprehensive. He had never been clear on the relationship between his wife and her aide, and she seldom talked about him after he left the Rangers, and disappeared for ten years. He knew how glad she was when he returned, and he had wondered how she would feel if Lennier found someone else. He opened the door to darkness. As the door closed behind him, his vision adjusted and he saw her sitting upright, in the center of the couch. She made no noise, and offered no greeting as he approached and sat heavily beside her. He sat quietly; he had learned patience, being married to a Minbari. She would speak when she was ready. Finally, she said, "I am sorry I left you. You were injured. I was wrong to leave."
He replied, "Why did you feel the need to go?"
"I'm not sure," she replied hesitantly. "I've never felt like that before. I was surprised, yes, and shocked. That is a remnant of my Minbari heritage, I suppose. But also…perhaps bereft, is that the correct word? But I am not sure why I feel I have lost something. Their feelings for each other have nothing to do with me."
"Go on. Are you sorry they seem to have found one another?"
"No," she said decisively, "For that I am glad. They both deserve whatever happiness the Universe sees fit to grant them, whether with each other or apart. But why do I feel such a sense of loss?"
He was gratified to see that she had moved closer to him, and was now resting her head on his shoulder. He could feel the silent tears wetting the shoulder of his jacket, and carefully put his arm around her to pull her closer. "Change usually involves loss. We lose who someone was, but we gain who they have become. But what they were is always still there inside. Like with children; no matter how big they grow, the baby, the child, is still there…inside."
She looked up briefly and said, "Change also involves the passing of time. And Time is my enemy now. Time will steal you from me." She paused, then added, very quietly, "When Lennier told us about the bomb, some part of me did not care. If we did not find it in time, we would die together. I would not be left alone."
He gathered her into his lap, where she curled up like a small child. "I will never leave you. I told you that once before, and I mean it. This body will die, and be lost to you, but I will come back for you. My soul, or spirit, or whatever is left, will not leave you alone. Not forever."
"How can you know that?" she asked plaintively. "Lennier promised to stay always by my side, and he left." Her voice fell to a whisper, "He even said he loved me, and he has not released himself from that declaration.” She went on, “I do not understand why you are so certain you will come for me."
"Hey, I came back from the dead for you once already! You are part of me, the other half of my soul. When my time comes, I’d better get an iron-clad guarantee I can come back for you, or I'm not going. You can bet on that." She had to laugh at his vehemence, and her laughter sparked his, and it ended as it usually did with them, with a kiss. They kissed each other with their whole heart and soul, the kind of kiss that made the world, and time, and loss, fade away into insignificance.
"Ahem," came a voice from the door. "I don't usually make house calls, you know. I hope you appreciate this." Stephen and Susan stood outlined in the light of the open door.
"I told you they snuck off for a snog," said Susan. "They're always doing that."
"You should talk," replied Stephen with a amused grin. "And where do you get your slang? Snog? Boff? Were you raised on 21st century North American vids?"
"I'll have you know I was a big fan of James Bond. I wanted to be a spy."
"James Bond never used the word 'snog'. I dare you to find that in one vid…"
"If you are quite done deconstructing Susan's euphemisms, Stephen, perhaps you could see to my husband's head wound?" laughed Delenn.
"You'll have to get off his lap, Madame President. I don't think I can concentrate on my work if you continue as you are," replied Stephen.
Delenn blushed and stood up, only reluctantly letting go of her husband's hand. She went over towards Susan, "Could you get the lights? I think Stephen will need to be able to see what he is doing."
"Like I couldn't patch up John Sheridan with my eyes closed by now," Stephen complained, "I've had enough practice over the years." It was followed by an "Ouch! That hurts!" from John.
The two women stood awkwardly facing each other. Susan looked down at the floor, and said, "So, are you okay with this, this whatever-it-is, you know, between Lennier and me?"
Delenn said thoughtfully, "I do not think I am. There will have to be some changes, I think."
Susan looked up quickly and said, "I'm not giving him up, if that 's what you mean. I want to give this a shot. It's important to me, I think to both of us."
"Oh, I didn't mean that. Once a Minbari has made such a physical display in public, he is obligated to continue the courtship rituals. I am sure you will enjoy them." She glanced over her shoulder at John, smiling and wrinkling her nose. He made a face back at her.
"Yeah, Susan, there's only fifty or so. It's a breeze, especially the ones where the other Minbari get to watch," said John, snorting with laughter.
"Stop moving, or I'll a
Susan looked stricken. Delenn continued, "No, what I started to say is that Lennier will have to operate under my direction from now on. The
"Never bothered you before," murmured John from the couch, which got him another pointed look from his wife, and another remonstrance from his doctor.
"OK, I guess I see the sense in that," said Susan slowly. "What else?"
"The 'else' I will have to discuss with Lennier," she replied enigmatically. Then, to herself, she went on, "I suppose Ranneth can represent Lennier in the negotiations with his clan…" Delenn addressed Susan again directly, "You had better speak with John about being your representative. He is probably the closest thing to family you have on Minbar."
John yelled over from the couch, "No, you don't! I am not Susan's father or brother. I am not getting involved in Minbari mating negotiations or rituals or whatever. You agreed to handle it with David, if he goes Minbari on us…why should I have to do it for Susan?"
"You are closest to her in spirit, my love. And species for that matter. You two discuss it, among other things.” She put a slight emphasis on those last words, and was amused to see John wince as he took her meaning. “I need to see Lennier. Is he able to have visitors yet, Stephen?" continued Delenn.
"Yeah, he didn't even need surgery. You Minbari are tough. Go ahead. John should rest anyway, and I can't leave you two alone and expect him to take it easy. I'll walk back with you. They brought in Lashon, and I'm going to try and remove that thing. That may let us interrogate him and find out who put it on him in the first place," answered Stephen, as he packed up his bag.
"I should be there for that," put in Susan hurriedly. She wasn't looking forward to discussing any of this with John, who was smirking at her from across the room.
"I'll call when I get it off. You can't help with that part. Stay, have fun!" Stephen said as he followed Delenn out the door.
Susan looked over at John apprehensively. Some people had peculiar ideas of fun.
Stephen hurried off to the surgical suite the Ranger physician had set up for him, and they set to work removing the creature from Lashon. They wanted to get as much of it as they could, realizing that if Stephen’s information was correct, the more they removed, the longer Lashon would be in control of himself, and so be able to help them with invaluable information.
Delenn went into the medical bay, and sat in a chair by Lennier’s tilted Minbari bed. She looked at him in silence for a moment before speaking the words of the ritual. “Do you ask me for release, Lennier? Do you ask that your declaration be forgotten, that your vow be rescinded?”
Lennier looked at his former mentor sadly. He wanted this, but it felt like a repudiation of his former service, and he had no wish to cause her pain. “I ask for release, from my declaration, which to my shame, was made to one already mated. I ask for release, from my vow, which was not fulfilled.”
Delenn smiled, and took his hand. “I grant you release from your words, but ask that you allow me to declare myself your friend. I grant you release from your vow, but ask that you swear a new one, to the
Lennier nodded, and said “I accept your friendship, and declare my own to you. I will swear allegiance to the
“Susan is human, and I am used to their ways by now, Lennier. I hope you know what you are getting into! Besides, you were injured, neither of you knew how badly…it was understandable that you would not ‘stand on ceremony’ as the humans say,” she said comfortingly. “Now, let us discuss the mating rituals. I thought we would ask Ranneth to represent you to your clan, and John could represent Susan…”
Lennier looked at her despairingly. He was in for it now. Somehow he hadn’t managed to consider what would come after his declaring his interest in Susan. Maybe they could emigrate to a colony world somewhere…but of course Delenn had managed to get him to commit to serving the
*********************************************
Susan and John stared at each other, then smiled, then burst out laughing. The situation was just too ridiculous. Susan flopped down on the couch, and asked, “So, how does your head feel now? Did Stephen get everything pasted back in place?”
“Well, he lasered off all the hair on the back of my head, which makes for a nice breeze. Other than that, I’m okay. Wish he’d left some painkillers though. I forgot to ask.”
“Want me to check the medicine cabinet? Or are you doing the herbal thing exclusively now?”
“Well, some of that stuff really works. The tea in the red tin box would be good. Would you mind?”
“No, I could use something myself. What a day! I wonder how long Stephen will be…I want to talk to Lashon. I don’t know what I’m going to tell his brother. He’s a Ranger too, on a ship patrolling Brakiri space, I think.” Susan set the water to heat, then made the tea, and brought it to the low table in front of the couch. They sat companionably, drinking tea for a moment.
John cleared his throat, and began to speak. “Um, one thing, Susan. I don’t know how much you know about Minbari biology, but, uh…”
Susan snorted, “Is it time for ‘the birds and the bees’, John? I’m a little old for this!”
John laughed sheepishly, “I guess you are at that…but I’m not sure whether you’ve thought about, well, you know. I’m not sure you guys even can… I mean, you can, but whether it’ll work the same way exactly,” He foundered and then ended weakly with, “You know what I mean?”
“John, we’ve known each other for years. Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all in a relationship, though you wouldn’t know it to look at you and Delenn…” John was almost blushing by now. “It’s not like there hasn’t been some experimentation among the Rangers already. And there are as many ways to consummation as there are couples. If you hadn’t realized it by now, I am not exclusively, shall we say, ‘penetration-focused’?”
“Let’s please drop this, okay?” he pleaded. “Just tell Delenn I talked to you about it?”
“This was her idea, was it? Well, turnabout is fair play. After the inquisition she put me through after her transformation…she owes me. I’ll save any questions for her, all right?”
“OK by me. Just leave me out of it, please!” Just then Susan’s link sounded. It was Stephen. The surgery was over. John and Susan headed out to the medical facility to question Lashon.
Stephen was still in his scrubs, carrying a covered beaker with a grey mass inside. He put it down carefully, and the others gathered around it. Delenn was pale, and John had to admit it made him a little queasy as well. They were both sensitive to Shadow technology, and this thing reeked of their influence. Susan put a hand out to remove the cover, then jumped back, when it writhed about in the jar, extending its tentacles as if looking for another host. “Where’s Lashon?” she demanded.
“In here,” Stephen gestured to another small room. “I think he’s coming out of the anesthesia, but we had to do some fancy cutting. I’m not sure he’ll ever be the same, and that’s if the thing doesn’t grow back, like Captain Jack said they would.”
Susan went into the other room, and the others stood back to let her question her Ranger.
“Lashon? Are you able to speak? Tell us what you remember…”
The Minbari opened his eyes, and said weakly, “You stopped the explosion, Anla’shok Na? The ship is all right? Entil’zha, Delenn? No one was hurt?”
“Everyone is fine, Lashon. The bomb was put out the escape hatch. The ship suffered only minor damage. We need to know who is behind this. Who put that creature on you?” asked Susan urgently. Stephen was looking intently at the screen monitoring the Ranger’s vital signs, and signing to her to hurry it up. His face was grim.
Lashon licked his lips, and tried to speak, “I don’t know who they were. I was planetside on leave. They jumped me, put that thing on me…I couldn’t help myself, Anla’shok Na! I swear I couldn’t do anything but what it wanted. It wouldn’t let me speak, to warn anyone. Please forgive…” His eyes rolled back in his head, and Stephen swore as he pushed Susan aside.
“Give me some room here! We’re losing him..” He gave Lashon an injection, then watched for the results. The monitors went completely red as alarms rang throughout the facility. The others watched as support personnel ran in to assist. It was too late, they could all see that. Lashon was gone. Delenn’s lips moved in whispered prayer.
John took Susan aside, and said, “Find out where he’s been stationed recently. It’ll give us some ideas where to start.” She nodded, and he added, “Tomorrow’s soon enough, Susan. Go talk to Lennier, then get some sleep. That’s where I’m heading. We’ll be at
The next evening found Susan Ivanova alone on the observation deck of the station that had been her home for four long years. She’d always loved the view from this window. If you stood close enough to the glass, you lost all sense of up or down, and started to feel as if you were floating in space, that the stars were close enough to touch. There were two low benches in front of the window, but no other furniture or decoration obscured the view. There was overhead lighting, which was only used when the deck was set up for an official reception or other function; otherwise there were only soft white lights set on sconces on the back wall. This made for a number of shadowy alcoves, which were popular for private meditation, and other activities more suited to couples.
The door opened with a swish, and Susan stepped back into the shadows. She hoped whoever it was would not stay long. She wanted to be alone, with the stars, to think about all that had happened lately. Though she had never been very good at meditation, she had always enjoyed solitude, and the ability to let her mind wander. She found that her thoughts tended to settle into clearer paths when she had time alone. When she was stationed on
John and Delenn approached the window, arm in arm. Susan groaned to herself, and wondered if she should make a noise and let them know she was here. Too late, they were already in a clinch. Sighing, she settled back into the corner, trying to ignore them.
She glanced over to see them disengage, and settle down on one of the benches.
“Are you all right?” John asked, as his wife settled up against him, her head resting on his shoulder.
“I am enjoying this trip very much. This place brings back so many memories. You know, I find myself longing for our old quarters. The VIP suite is very nice, but it does not feel like home.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. That last year we were here, I had to stop myself from heading to C&C or my old office two or three times a day!”
“Change is seldom easy, even when it is desired.”
John shifted a little so he could look at Delenn directly, “So, how are you feeling about Susan and Lennier now?”
She laughed, “You mean now the shock is behind me? I told you before, they both deserve whatever happiness they find, with or without each other. I only hope the relationship is accepted on Minbar. I do not think the Rangers will mind, I rather think they will approve, but the Council is more…”
“Stubborn? Bigoted? Reactionary?”
“Conservative? I think that is a less ‘loaded’ word, as you say. That is why I wish them to at least try to follow our traditions. It might make it easier.”
“And if they are not accepted?”
“The Council will have to ‘learn to live with it,” Delenn said, raising her chin in defiance.
John laughed and kissed her. “You could always break ‘em up again.”
“Hopefully it will not come to that!” Delenn stood up, laughing, and pulled John up with her, “Come. It’s getting late, and we have early meetings tomorrow.”
“One last turn through the garden?” her husband asked with a smile.
“All right,” she replied, “There are many memories there as well. All good ones.”
With that the couple departed, and Susan exhaled in relief, and moved over to the window again to admire the view. It was good to know she had their support, not that she had doubted it. When the door cycled open again, she sighed. There didn’t seem to be any way to get some time alone these days. Lennier approached her quietly, and stood beside her without speaking. That was one thing she liked about him; he didn’t insist on non-stop conversation.
“Were you looking for me?” she asked finally.
Lennier said, “Sit down, Susan.” She sat and looked at him quizzically. “I think we need to talk…”
She smiled, and said, “You know, that phrase is considered ‘the kiss of death’ in human relationships.”
“Kiss of death? It is a prelude to assassination?” Lennier looked concerned.
“No,” Susan laughed. “Just that it’s generally the opener to an awkward conversation at best, a break-up at worst.” Tentatively, she continued, “Which were you going for?”
Lennier looked liked he was internally translating for a moment, then proceeded, “The awkward conversation, I think.”
Susan still looked a little apprehensive, and said, “Well, let’s get it over with. What did you want to talk about?”
“Us, I suppose. Our relationship. What it is, what we want it to be.”
Susan sighed. “I don’t know the answers to those questions. Do you?”
“Not really. I was hoping you did. I think we had better decide what we want, before we are given no choice in the matter.”
“You’re talking about Delenn’s…enthusiasm.” Susan said wryly. “I know, she’s been walking me past the dress shop on the Zocalo daily. Do Minbari even wear wedding dresses?”
Lennier nodded glumly. “They do, at least…there are ceremonial robes. It is only that she wishes us to be happy, as happy as she is with John. And I am certain the political ramifications weigh heavily on her.”
“Dammit, why does everything have to be so complicated!”
“Do I have to list all the complications involved for you? Or was that a rhetorical question?” answered Lennier. “Susan, may I tell you what I want?” He took her hands in his and went on, “I want to know more of you. I want to be close to you, in every way. But I would also like to continue my work, and my travels. I find that I enjoy wandering, seeing new places, visiting old friends. I believe I am good at what I do, and that I perform a valuable service. As much as I would like to spend more time with you, I do not know that I want to settle on Minbar. In addition, I do not believe you should leave your position. You have become very important to the
Susan sighed, “That’s about how I feel, too. I mean, we’ve become close. I have…feelings for you that I would like to explore. But fifty courtship rituals? Clan representation? Ceremonial robes? It’s too much, too soon. But what if Delenn is right? If we don’t start this process, will it affect my standing with the Rangers, the Council, with the representatives of the
“Does it matter? You were appointed by Delenn and John, and your authority is acknowledged by the Anla’Shok. If they support us, who will go against them? The Rangers will stand with you; do not worry about that…”
“They will stand with you as well. You have no idea how high your reputation stands with them.”
Lennier looked away for a moment, “It is undeserved, but good to hear just the same.” He leaned forward and said intently, “Let us be Fela’aia, Susan. Lovers of the heart. If we want more later, we can always go forward. Let us take this time for ourselves. I have lived among aliens for years, and I find the opinions of my clan matter little to me anymore. After I released my father, I understood how far I had fallen away from the old ways.”
“You’re a rebel, Lennier,” Susan had tears in her eyes. She still wondered if he was as unconcerned with public opinion as he said.
“A rebel without a cause, perhaps. Mr. Garibaldi showed me that vid once, after we built the motorcycle. I hope our story does not end as badly as that one did.”
“It won’t. I won’t let it.”
“Then we have nothing to fear. Ivanova has spoken,” intoned Lennier solemnly, though a smile hovered on his lips.
Susan looked down shyly, “I accept your offer. Fela’aia it is. Will you come with me when we break the news to Delenn?”
“Of course. If you promise to protect me.”
“That’ll cost you, Lennier.”
“I have every hope that it will, Susan.” Leaning forward, he gently kissed her lips. “You may ask any price you wish.”
“Lorien told me once to listen to my heart, so did Ranneth when I told her about Marcus. Do you know what else Lorien told me?”
“No, but the wisdom of the First One is sure to be illuminating.”
“He said ‘Only those whose lives are brief, can imagine that love is eternal.
You should embrace that remarkable illusion. It may be the greatest gift your race has ever received.’ I think of that every time I see John and Delenn together.” Her eyes filled with tears.
He stroked her cheek softly, and said, “I do not know if love is eternal, but it is enough of a gift that it is here. It is a gift that I never expected, shan’wa’aia.”
“Joy of my heart,” she repeated back to him in wonder. “A remarkable illusion, indeed.”
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Date: 2007-08-09 02:34 am (UTC)>
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BUT... what exacting was Delenn doing that was more important than the 10th anniversary of the Alliance?
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Date: 2007-08-09 02:45 am (UTC)Brava!
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Date: 2007-08-09 10:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-12 11:59 pm (UTC)I'm thinking of (finally) updating my DelennToo's B5Stuff Writings page and would love to post this story. Would that be okay with you?
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