Fanfic - Who wants to live forever?

[sammy-stevenson.livejournal.com]

I had planned to write a fic for today... I had the whole thing planned out. It starred Marcus (what a surprise), and involved most of the regular cast, raiders, giant space battles, telepaths, dragons... ok, maybe no dragons, but you get the idea.
I started writing a few weeks ago, but soon realised that this fic was going to take me at least 6 months to write.
So, back to the drawingboard.

I managed a ficlet. It wasn't what I was planning, but hey, it's something, right?


Title: Who wants to live forever?
Author: sammy_stevenson
Pairing: none really, more the lack of one...
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Pretty big spoiler for the end of season 4...
Summary: Susan reflects on something that hugely impacted her life.
Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm just playing with them.



“Well, I do, actually.”

That had been his reply. Of course, at the time it had mostly been in jest; there was every possibility we wouldn’t survive the day. But still, it had been clear he didn’t want to die. And we didn’t. Not that time.

They say hindsight is perfect, and I find now that it’s true.
When I think of him I remember his wit, the way his eyes sparkled when he told a joke. He would go out of his way to try and make me laugh.
I remember his dedication, how he threw himself into every situation without hesitating even a moment. He lived for his cause and given the chance, he would have died for it.
Finally I remember his kind nature and generous heart, a heart that would have been better given to someone other than me.

What about me? I scorned his generosity and rarely gave him so much as a smile. I returned his affection with impatience, and his kindness with politeness. I had too little time for him, and now it’s too late.
He’s dead, and it’s my fault. He exchanged his life for mine, abandoning his cause and his reason in a desperate attempt to save someone who had given him nothing but indifference.

I know that technically speaking he’s not entirely dead; I have seen to that much at least. I gave orders to have him put in cryogenic suspension, so that what little life remains can be preserved until such a time someone is able to help him.
So in a way he lives, and will live, forever.