random Lennier drabble

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Hey dudes. I'm quite new to the fandom, having been sat down by my dad this summer and made to watch the entire thing. It was a very difficult year and some nasty things happened, and...well, as cheesy as it may sound, B5 helped me get back together. So I have massive amounts of love for the awesomeness that is this show. Anyway, I frequently write fic in the Myst universe, but these are my first attempts in B5 so...yeah. Drabble time!

Title: Watching
Rating: er...G?
Summary: Brief moment of Lennier's thoughts when Sheridan returns from Z'ha'dum
Spoilers: Seasons 1-4

Sheridan stepped on the platform and began speaking at once. No one dared interrupt, not from the moment his presence sent the crowd into stunned silence to the end of the speech. Delenn was tense beside Lennier, her face frozen in a strange, almost unreadable expression. He knew her expressions well, but even this seemed beyond him. She only glanced at him once during Sheridan's speech, and her eyes were wide with...fear, disbelief, and behind that, wild hope. For the first time in over two weeks, there was more in her eyes than death.

Sheridan opened his arms wide at the conclusion of the speech. He too was more alive than Lennier had ever seen him, returning from the edge of known space enlightened and inspired.

He would, of course, bring the whole universe with him now wherever he went. He returned from Z'ha'dum and now all the worlds would follow him.

People always followed Sheridan. It was part of life, just as the station turned continuously and people slept and woke here, at home, and on distant worlds across the galaxy. He had long known this fact, though it continued to be cemented in his mind at every moment Sheridan spoke, gave orders, walked through the corridors and now stood there, smiling as Delenn left the crowd and approached him. Delenn didn't think for a moment that it could be a trick. She wouldn't. She trusted.

Sheridan didn't know. He supposedly died on Z'ha'dum and didn't know what happened here. He didn't watch, like Lennier did. He didn't see Ivanova, wracked with guilt, going blindly through the motions every day without any thought or care behind it, blank and lifeless. He didn't know that Garibaldi went missing and G'Kar shortly after...Garibaldi had returned, with seemingly no memory of what happened to him, and G'Kar...he was still missing. He didn't see Delenn, sitting in mourning and not eating for days, maybe weeks, waiting for death to find her too. He didn’t know the struggle it took just to coax her into drinking water to keep her from dehydrating. He didn’t see her meet his eyes from a distance, saying his name only in acknowledgement before falling into grief again. Sheridan didn't see the fear and terror and near riots his absence had caused. He didn't know.

It felt to Lennier that Sheridan came back seemingly without thinking of what could have happened when he was gone. And he returned in the same brilliant energy he left with, and held his arms out to the crowd, stirring them with his words and voice.

It was the first thing Sheridan did when he returned. He was greeted with cheers, smiles, joy...a crowd of inspired people. He saw happiness and hope. He did not see death and despair and downcast eyes that had become the norm on this station of late. He only looked on this crowd and perhaps thought this was all.

The cheering echoed through the entire Zocalo. Wild whoops and exclamations filled the air and Lennier was jostled by the movements of a crowd who was given their hope back. It was the first time in over two weeks that Lennier had seen life and happiness on Babylon 5.

Still, he did not smile, and did not cheer.

This was as good a time as ever to watch.

Comments

[vjs2259.livejournal.com]

Oh,thank you for writing that! Lennier is one of my favorite characters, and I watch that scene over and over to catch the look he gives Sheridan, and try to see what's in his eyes, and even more, what's behind them.
'Watching' is such a good description of what Lennier does, and what he's about. He's almost always in the background, not really 'part of the team', essential yet often overlooked, relied on but not anyone's first thought.
In short, I liked it, and would like to see more.

(And don't worry about sounding odd in having been rescued by B5; it's happened to more than one of us.)

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks! I'm so used to writing in the Myst universe that I don't know how well I'd fare in another. Lennier is my absolute favorite character since season 1, before I knew anything of what happened to him (and was the #1 Tissue Box Queen for Objects at Rest) and he's so hard to read as a general rule, but being the watcher is one of the main things I noticed he does, all the time. The overlooked thing, definitely...it struck me with Delenn and Sheridan's departure in Objects at Rest when Zack bids them both farewell by name and then Lennier's just kind of...there. Then he nods and leaves and Zack is all, oh, right, bye.
Lennier just fascinates me because I'm...well, I'm not an official psychology major (music ed actually) but study a great deal of psych in my spare time, and Lennier is one of those characters who I find really hard to capture because you never quite know what he is thinking because...well, he rarely actually says what he is thinking.

And I watched that scene a gazillion times too :P Favorite characters, what can you do.

[vjs2259.livejournal.com]

I'm turning cartwheels here over another Lennier fan(atic). Also that scene where Delenn's in command of the station and she says 'everyone I care about is gone'? I've tried to figure out where Lennier is at that point, and maybe I missed something (let me know!), but it seems to me she just forgot about him. Which breaks my heart. I've written reams about Lennier, both in canon and in AUs, and still haven't completely figured him out.

(I minored in Psych. Wonder if this is a common thread...)

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Well, I know what attracted me to the Myst fandom was that it is absolutely stuffed with psychology, and...well, then I come along to B5 and nearly fell off my couch when I found out that JMS majored in clinical psych. Well, snap, no wonder I like this show so much. Lennier is just awesome (and I tend to lean towards the fanatic side with any favorite character of mine, but that's 'cause as a writer I get way too attached to characters in general) and I have no idea why he became my favorite back in season one but somehow he did. Huh.

What episode is that with Delenn? I'm rewatching the whole series with my friend and trying not to spoiler her (which was very hard in The Gathering, when Kosh said "Entil-zha Valen" to the person disguised as Sinclair and I squeaked, and she demanded to know what the squeak was for) and can't quite recall that one. But oh man, I can't imagine...that she'd just forget about him, right? I mean when he was hurt stopping the bomb from blowing up she was just beside herself with worry and Neroon was all, wtf? But if that is true, then it makes it even sadder. I had no idea that Lennier ended up as such a tragic character, poor thing. I really want to give him a hug. But that's besides the point.

Yeah, he's so hard to figure out. And I spend *way* too much time picking apart characters' brains but he's just difficult. Can I read some of the stuff you wrote?

[vjs2259.livejournal.com]

I'll have to look it up when I get home :) Work must take precedence, even over Lennier.

Delenn has a tendency (a largish one) to take him for granted. He is always there, pledged to her side, ever faithful. Until, of course, he isn't.

As to reading, I would love to get your opinion. If you like, head over to my journal and look for the tags 'Lennier's Arc' and if you want to get completely weirded out, the AU tagged 'Lennier/Ivanova' (yes, that means what you think it means.) L/I especially would need to be read in order (oldest posted first) as it's a complete (and long) story. Warning, it heads into NC-17 territory occasionally. The Arc is sequential too, but if you know the episodes you can skip around without problems.
I still have one story in Lennier's Arc to finish; a re-working of Day of the Dead. I haven't gone back to do early season stuff; this is all about his major character arc in S4 and S5.

[vjs2259.livejournal.com]

The quote is at the beginning of The Summoning, as it turns out. 'Everyone I hold dear is gone.' It wouldn't stand out if she was just fixated on John, but she mentions Garibaldi, Londo and Vir, G'Kar, Marcus and Susan. It's like Lennier is part of her, not a separate person.

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Ahh, thank you muchly :) Lennier is so hard to write because of his constantly internalizing everything. You never really know what he's thinking, you're just left to rely on brief moments when you see *something* or he actually says something and then it passes.

I hope to write more, once I stop being intimidated by the massive amounts of good fic already in this universe that kept me from studying for music history last night :P

[xphilehb.livejournal.com]

Good stuff! Thanks for sharing.

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :D

[delenntoo.livejournal.com]

She only glanced at him once during Sheridan's speech, and her eyes were wide with...fear, disbelief, and behind that, wild hope. For the first time in over two weeks, there was more in her eyes than death.

This is the *perfect* description of how Delenn looked, especially the "wild hope" part.

Your point that "Sheridan didn't see the fear and terror and near riots his absence had caused. He didn't know." was also something I hadn't really thought about before when watching that scene. Kinda reminds me of the biblical story of the Prodigal Son and how disgruntled the son who *didn't* leave felt when he returned.

I love reading stories written from different perspectives than mine - and you write so well! Please write some more B5 fanfic!

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

I wrote this during the summer right after watching that episode, and I'm definitely too much of a Lennier fan 'cause I wasn't paying Sheridan as much attention as I was Delenn and Lennier :P
Come to think of it, I never really thought about it either...my method of writing too often seems to be to just sit there and let the characters ramble at me and whatever they say is what I write down. Half the time I have no idea where any of it comes from, but they seem to and they know better than I do, right?

And thanks so much! I hope to write more as well because I have massive amounts of love for B5 :)

[natoth.livejournal.com]

First, it is very good story. Secondly, Lennier is one of my favourite Minbari, and I always was upset because of a love triangle which has developed in 4th season.
as to Lennier's thoughts about Sheridan ...
There was also the underside of a medal... I doubt, that somebody of B5 inhabitants, including officers, Lennier and Delenn, have learned sometime, through what Sheridan had to pass on Zha'Ha'Dum...

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Same here...the love triangle made me cry, especially in Objects at Rest. We watched that and Sleeping in Light on the same night and I was crying like a five year old girl :P So sad!
I am quite glad you liked it :)

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the fandom. :) That was a good drabble, and I hope you'll write more. :)

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Thanks...it's a fantastic fandom and I'm mentally kicking myself for not listening to my dad sooner when he told me how awesome this show was. I was too young to understand it when it was on TV, but I'm glad I came now...better late than never, right?
And I hope to write more as well.

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

Yes, better late than never. I've watched sci-fi for years, but B5 is my favourite. :)

[vagablonde.livejournal.com]

I very much enjoyed this - it was a beautiful glimpse into Lennier

[thebunnybag.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Lennier is hard to write, so I'm glad I managed to get it right...I'm so paranoid about writing these characters because they are just all so amazing and JMS is just one of the most amazing writers of this time.